Leave it to Robin Thicke to make all of your Christmas presents seem wholly unsatisfying. The soulful crooner dished out seriously steamy details about his sex life with the incomparable beauty and Complex cover girl Paula Patton in a recent interview with Essence magazine, making men (and women) around the world weep with envy (and also re-read copiously).

In the interview, Thicke revealed telling details about his romantic past, and admitted it is exactly that which separates him from his R&B counterparts. "What I realize about the difference between me and my peers -- you know, Chris Brown and Drizzy Drake and all my musical peers -- is that they haven’t been with the same woman for 18 years and I’ve been with a Black woman for 18 years", Thicke said. "I've never dated a White woman. Don’t want to."

But Thicke's most revealing confession was not his racial-monogamy, but his slightly-creepy pet-name for Paula ("I even call her mama and she calls me daddy. We are that to each other") and what it takes to keep Patton satisfied. "I like to try to get her into double-digit orgasms as much as possible. It doesn't happen all the time, but when I've got my mojo and my swag, it happens."

Excuse us while we wallow in our well-warranted jealousy. 

[via Essence]