9. CRYSTAL THE MONKEY IN THE HANGOVER PART II (2011)
The creative minds behind this long-awaited yet destined-to-underwhelm comedy sequel pilfered from the original movie’s script in nearly every way possible, from the film’s structure to each character’s personality and moment of individual fuckery. Other than the setting, which shifts from Las Vegas to Bangkok, the only element from The Hangover that’s legitimately flipped is the first flick’s baby; this time, it’s a monkey involved in Bangkok’s criminal underworld that ends up in the Wolfpack’s possession.
It’s a nifty move on the screenwriters’ part, because the little primate (real name = Crystal) is the funniest thing about The Hangover Part II. Rocking a Rolling Stones jean jacket and baggy camouflage cargo pants, Crystal climbs wires, delivers baggies full of drugs, and makes cute “Oh shit!” faces during a car chase sequence. She also picks up the slack left behind by an extra annoying Zach Galifianakis and an incredibly obnoxious Ken Jeong.
The only way we’ll voluntarily see the inevitable Hangover Part III is if Crystal’s back; considering how unoriginal Part II, that’ll most likely happen.