Image via Complex Original
On Veterans Day, there’s no wrong way to show love to our nation’s war heroes. Some organize massive parades that draw huge crowds of teary-eyed and appreciate onlookers; others close office or school doors to allow for undistracted reverence. No matter how you plan on acknowledging those men and women who’ve fought tooth-and-nail for this country of ours today, the important thing is that you pay some kind of homage. Just don’t use the free holiday as an excuse to simply cavort with hussies and binge drink. Or if you do, at least rock an “I Support the Troops” T-shirt. For our part, Complex is showing gratitude with a countdown of cinema’s 10 sexiest female military characters. We're sure Uncle Sam (and every red blooded American male) would approve.
RELATED: Most Badass U.S. Military Vehicles
Demi Moore
#10: DEMI MOORE AS LT. COMMANDER JOANNE GALLOWAY IN A FEW GOOD MEN (1992)
So what if we can’t handle the truth? We’d prefer to try our luck with the future Ms. G.I. Jane, anyway. Short-haired women don’t always raise our flags but Moore makes it work. In A Few Good Men, she spends the bulk of the movie brooding and acting under high pressure. In every scene, she’s ready to blow off steam, but just can’t do it. We’d gladly unbutton the top of that highly-decorated white shirt and show her what R&R is all about.
Meg Ryan
#9: MEG RYAN AS CPT. KAREN WALDEN IN COURAGE UNDER FIRE (1996)
While we enjoy Ryan’s topless work in In the Cut, we also love her in military garb. The reason: Prior to nip/tucks and injections, she was one of Hollywood’s most slept-on hotties (you can quote us on that), and her God-given cuteness contrasted well with the ruggedness of Army attire. It’s an exercise in positive subversion. You might think she’s harmless, but—BAM!—she’ll pull rank on you with the quickness. Sometimes it pays to be a lowly recruit following a fine woman's orders.
Goldie Hawn
#8: GOLDIE HAWN AS PVT. JUDY BENJAMIN IN PRIVATE BENJAMIN (1980)
With so much intensity surrounding the armed forces, some comic relief can’t hurt—that’s where our girl Goldie comes into play. As a rich girl out of her element in the Army, Hawn seems more in need of protection than the other ladies on this list. She’s the type of recruit who might hide in a foxhole when the going gets rough. Who wouldn’t want to be Captain Save-A-Hawn?
Sigourney Weaver
#7: SIGOURNEY WEAVER AS WARRANT OFFICER ELLEN RIPLEY IN ALIEN AND ALIENS (1979, 1986)
There’s little sexier than a woman who takes charge. It’s not that we’re submissive—we prefer our whips to come with four wheels. As Ripley, Weaver answers to no man, calling the shots and kicking extraterrestrial ass. Now, if we were the apple-in-the-mouth types, there’d probably be some “You be Ripley, girl, and we’ll wear an alien costume” fetish in mind. Thank us later for the idea, pervs.
Angelina Jolie
#6: ANGELINA JOLIE AS CDR. FRANKY COOK IN SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW (2004)
Oddly, we kind of prefer Angie with an eyepatch. After all, her lips are the main attraction, so the obstruction of her one pupil draws more attention to those pouty kissers, and there’s nothing wrong with that. As fighter pilot Franky, Jolie flies right into our dirtiest thoughts, lands safely, and establishes residence. And we can’t get enough of her, ahem, cockpit expertise.
Stacey Dash
#5: STACEY DASH AS PVT. MIRANDA MYERS IN RENAISSANCE MAN (1994)
Damon Dash’s fine-ass cousin would look sexy in a clown suit, so it’s no mystery why camouflage suits her. But as one of professor Danny Devito’s misfit soldier-students, her feisty attitude and hints of vulnerability make us stand at attention whenever Renaissance Man re-runs on cable. Just watch her flirt with Devito, complete with bare midriff and a come-hither singing voice, during the class’s painful rap performance of “To be or Not to Be.” You’ll forget all about Kadeem Hardison’s horrific Sticky Fingaz impersonation.
Jessica Stroup and Daniella Alonso
#4: JESSICA STROUP AND DANIELLA ALONSO AS TRAINEES AMBER AND MISSY IN THE HILLS HAVE EYES 2 (2007)
As two wet-behind-the-ayo! National Guard trainees, Stroup and Alonso fill us with all kinds of role-playing fantasies. Try this one on for size: You’re a mean, imposing drill sergeant, and these two nervous, and gorgeous, recruits are ready to heed your every command. Feel free to abuse power at your own discretion. Just don’t forget to hit the showers afterward!
Rachel Nichols
#3: RACHEL NICHOLS AS SHANA “SCARLETT” O’HARA IN G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA (2009)
It’s a good thing that Nichols looks damn good with her lethal twin cannons (those guns are pretty badass, too), because the fiery redhead’s movie makes us want to toss our “Go Joe!” action figures into a grinder. Marlon Wayans’s inane wisecracks and Channing Tatum’s non-charisma become tolerable when heard while staring at those none-too-subtle breasts enhancements on Ms. Nichols’s body armor. For her, we salute the red, white, and boobs!
Dina Meyer and Denise Richards
#2: DINA MEYER AND DENISE RICHARDS AS PVT. DIZZY FLORES AND LT. CARMEN IBANEZ IN STARSHIP TROOPERS (1997)
Meet the only two reasons we’d ever envy Z-list actor Casper Van Dien. In this quite entertaining piece of Army propaganda masked as a sci-fi flick, brunette stunners Meyer and Richards both lust after your boy CVD. Pick your poison: Meyer is the tough and horny type, while Richards is more prim and proper. We’d imagine that military training is rather exhausting, so why work even harder for the nookie? Hence, we’re Team Meyer, though victory is imminent no matter which gal you salute.
Jolene Blalock
#1: JOLENE BLALOCK AS CAPTAIN LOLA BECK IN STARSHIP TROOPERS 3: MARAUDER (2008)
Does the Army offer dress-down days to its female soldiers? If not, Blalock’s ownership of that snug gray tank-top in Starship Troopers 3 is justification enough for Casual Fridays on bases. During the film’s battle scenes, the mammary-blessed Blalock carries a massive gun that totally blocks our view, which is why we’re most jealous of those dog-tags dangling from her necklace. Motor-boatin’ sons of bitches!
