Nick Swardson puts the sketch in sketch comedy. If you're going to watch his Comedy Central show, Nick Swardson's Pretend Time (Tuesday, 10 p.m.), you'd better love toilet gags, incest, bestiality, meth, and gay robots. Fortunately, we do, and that's exactly the kind of humor we want from the standup comedian and actor best known for playing Terry, the zesty rollerskating hooker on Reno 911!, and Jeff, the video game tester who lives with his parents, sleeps in a race car bed, and can't believe his coworker accidentally busted off on his mom in Grandma's Boy. For anyone who's slept on Pretend Time, it's not too late to get in on the fun, as the finale airs tonight. In the meantime, allow us to fill you in on Nick Swardson's five best sketches from season one...
"WHEELCHAIR CAT"
Synopsis: A marmalade pussy inherits an old woman's fortune, sparking a rivalry with her drug addicted and homicidally jealous son.
Best line: "She looks like E.T. with HIV."
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"GAY ROBOT - SEX OFFENDER"
Synopsis: Gay robot dresses up as a little boy and seeks out a local child molester.
Best line: "I'm just so tired from hopscotch, I need to shower. And the flavor is gone from this lollipop. Do you have anything else for me to suck on?"
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"SURVIBRATOR"
Synopsis: A commercial for the world's most complete survival vibrator.
Best line: "This simulation was filmed using a man in a costume. When sodomizing a real wolf, please use extreme caution."
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"HOW DO I KNOW YOU?"
Synopsis: Nick and a couple run down various haunts in an attempt to figure out where they know each other from.
Best line: "Where do you fart in homeless people's mouths?"
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"CREEPIOS"
Synopsis: A cereal mascot resembling a drug addicted pedophile serial killer version of Mr. Clean struggles with jealousy.
Best line: "I guess I'll just stop being creepy. Aaaaaaaah."
