Michelle Trachtenberg with
Dr. Manhattan Bruce Willis.
Ah, Michelle Trachtenberg... How do we love thee? Let us count the ways: One, two, three. Of course she's an actress with a very, very appealing body...of work as well. With her latest, Cop Out (starring some dudes named Tracy Morgan and Bruce Willis as well) out this Friday, we delve deep into the vaults to bring you some of her greatest roles, so far.
HARRIET THE SPY, 1996
ROLE: Harriet M. Welsch
• Michelle got her big break playing a pre-teen spy whose friends turn on her when they discover her secret life. Be honest, at the time did you think M.T. would be the sex symbol she is today? Ok, don't answer that.
INSPECTOR GADGET, 1999
• Inspector gadget? She was 16 when she made this, so no.
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER, 2000-03
ROLE: Dawn Summers
• Michelle first gained our attention (appropriate, legal attention) as Buffy's little sister, who kinda sorta wasn't really Buffy's little sister (it's a little hard to explain). Her wholesome good looks and questionable past definitely made her sci-fi crush worthy, as did her fluency in Sumerian, 'cause really, why have a mystical object that can't read Sumerian? Like, duh.
• EuroTrip is the kind of movie that can send an actress on a bad path (we see you Tara Reid), but Mimi T. was able to pull off scenes (SPOILER ALERT) involving kissing her brother and having sex in an airplane bathroom and still have a career. Which defines her as pretty much the perfect combination of low brow and high brow for us.
SIX FEET UNDER, 2004
• Michelle had a brief four-episode run on SFU as a spoiled pop star who seduces her gay bodyguard. And the answer is yes, we'd fake being gay in order to get "straightened out" by M.T. For such a smart person, you ask some really dumb questions sometimes.
HOUSE M.D., 2006
ROLE: Melinda Bardach
• Michelle is a apparently a huge House fan, and got one of her producer friends to get her this one episode cameo. She's reported to have played a practical joke on Hugh Laurie by placing a note between her legs that read "I Love You" during a scene where he inspects her genitals for ticks. Now it's our turn to ask a dumb question: How the fuck do we get that job?
GOSSIP GIRL, 2008-09
ROLE: Georgina Sparks
• Befitting her surname, Georgina is the diabolical one on GG, a role that's a must for any show about privileged teenagers. "Diabolical"...that's one of those key words that actresses love to have on their resumes.
ROLE: Nurse Chloe Payne
• Full disclosure: we have not actually seen this show, as we're not 55-year-old women who talk to their cats. We have however seen Michelle Trachtenberg rap to Nicki Minaj, and we have just three words to say: Down. Ass. Chick.