Who is Angel Haze?

Her Relationship With Her Mother

Angel Haze: “We have a really weird relationship. I want to say my relationship with my mom now is great, but we had a really rocky relationship. I blamed her for a lot of the things that happened to me in my life, but I had to get over it and understand the fact that parents are still people.

"Even when they have you, that doesn’t mean that their life stops. They still continue searching for what they need in their life and they’re still individuals. Once I had the understanding I kind of let everything go.

“Me and my mom don’t really have religious conversations because she’s so irritated with what I believe. I’m the type of person who questions everything. You can’t tell me tell me one thing and just expect me to believe it.

 

I feel like manipulation and being so deep into something, having it be a lie, having it be ripped away from you, and having it be something that tortures you is kind of a mindstate you never really escape from. I honestly feel that way. It’s like a rain cloud. It just follows you around your whole entire life. You can have days without rain, but ultimately it’s still there.

 

“Sometimes, I feel like manipulation and being so deep into something, having it be a lie, having it be ripped away from you, and having it be something that tortures you is kind of a mindstate you never really escape from. I honestly feel that way.

“It’s like a rain cloud. It just follows you around your whole entire life. You can have days without rain, but ultimately it’s still there. My mom has gotten so much better over the years that I give and I take. I just go with it.

“I treat everything in retrospective, so I feel like anyone could influence my writing. Anyone could stop me on the street and I just learn from people. My mom taught me there’s no such thing as a real kryptonite. Anything in the world that holds you down, you have the ability to get from under it, you have the ability to break it apart. There’s no such thing as being down for too long.

“I don’t want to seem like the type of artist who’s emotionally trapped in their past, but I had a really hard time in Michigan from being raped and molested growing up to having no family, no dad. And my aunt hated me when I was a kid. I don’t know why she wouldn’t let me come over her house. She would let my brother come over.

“The day we were leaving Michigan, me and my mom sat on the Greyhound bus. I sat next to her and I started crying. I said, ‘Everyone here hates me.’ She told that when we moved away that everything was gonna be okay. Like nobody was gonna be able to hurt us anymore. Blah, blah, blah. It didn’t happen exactly like [how it’s told in 'This is Me'], but it just kind of unraveled. It got worse.

 

We would end up in the craziest of places, like being thrown out onto a highway, on the Jersey Turnpike, by a friend who wanted to be with my mom and she didn’t want to be with her. She went from walking on a fucking highway to being in New York with her ex-fiance. She tried to burn him in the face with an iron, beat him with a baseball bat, and she chased him around the subway system.

 

“My mom is warped now. So she leaves a place where she’s in extreme amount of danger, pain, and she feels neglected. Mind you, she has had her childhood... whole tragedy type of shit. She’s looking for something like love. That kind of emotional validation she was seeking only came in the wrong place because her energy behind it was so wrong.

“So we would end up in the craziest of places, like being thrown out onto a highway, on the Jersey Turnpike, by a friend who wanted to be with my mom and she didn’t want to be with her. She went from walking on a fucking highway to being in New York with her ex-fiance. She tried to burn him in the face with an iron, beat him with a baseball bat, and she chased him around the subway system. Being so exposed and just being thrown into this whirlwind of fucking craziness make you think, ‘Wow.’

“I always thought my mom would get arrested and me and my brother would live alone. We have no family. Legitimately none. So it sucks because we’d be in a product of the system. It always used to worry me as a kid.”

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