1. Tequila Rain
Address: 145 Ipswich St.
The one place in Boston where people order piña coladas, Tequila Rain is the closest thing to spring break in Beantown. That's not a good thing. A beach scene transplanted into the heart of Fenway, this monstrosity deploys radio spots that boast about fake sand and palm trees. Dirtier than a Cancun foam party, Tequila Rain is a vacation for suburban meatheads looking to hit each other while scantily clad bachelorettes dive heels first into depressing behavior that'll have them signing divorce papers as soon as the Facebook pictures go up. The upside? Leave, and you can grab amazing tacos at La Verdad's late-night stand next door.