The 10 Worst Things You Can Do to a Waiter
By Greg Topscher | Sep 20, 2011 | 11:56 am | Permalink
Anyone who has worked for longer than a summer as a waiter will have a handful of horror stories about hungry, hungry humanity. People have horror stories about waiters and waitresses, too, but only one of those people is at work. Serving is easy and serving is hard.
For some, waiting tables can be effortless. But for others, the multi-tasking, the requisite thick skin, the bad jokes, being ordered around by customers and managers alike, the long hours on your feet, the never-ending cleaning, serving of certain dishes to the point that they seem utterly unappetizing, the drunken ass-pinches, the impatient chefs, being too busy to eat dinner while everyone else shovels food into their faces, the confoundingly dumb questions, the come-ons of men and women who could be your parents, the ever-failing coffee maker, the hiccups of the new guy in the kitchen, and the attempt to hide everything in your life with an even tone, a composed clean uniform, and a believable smile is, simply, a nightmare.
Many servers will tell you that a year in the food industry should be required before college, like a year of service in the army. You’ll learn a lot more about your fellow man, at the least. Ask your server about the frequency of his work-related nightmares. You'll be surprised by the answer of even the most steady hand in the restaurant.
Are you doing something to make your server’s life a living hell? We’re sure they don’t mind.
thegrubhound September 21st, 2011 at 04:55 PM
I think I need to forward this list to a few associates who have done a number of these. I have a friend who always asks the server his or her name, as a non waiter, I guess I would take this for granted. I would just think it would be treating them like a person.
Teamwork Inspirational September 21st, 2011 at 05:45 PM
Simply most did enjoy doing it!
Been there September 21st, 2011 at 06:17 PM
I worked as a waiter for a time when I was in college. The place was a steak house with only 1 item (plus a jr. size) on the menu. For your money, you got a salad and half a bagel grilled with garlic butter, main course steak, another half of bagel, and a baked potato with your choice of topping(butter or sour cream). We had both favorite and unfavorite customers. Favorites would come in, say Hi to you , order a drink and then request the particulars for their meals. The uns could usually be found out in the first few moments. Surly, complain about the limited menu, and any number of other things. By their attitude, you know they were non, or stingy tippers. They would be treated well, their first time, but subsequent visits would be "different". Salads would not have a lot of dressing, or too much. Steaks would be smaller, and rarer than ordered,etc. One favorite trick was for the woman who didn't finish her steak and wanted a doggy bag for her dog. She hadn't cared for it. I would always put the steak in the bag with other stuff from the garbage bucket and say I gave "fido" a real treat. The bag was ALWAYS left behind. Hey better for my dog! A good nice trick, for hopefully good customers (Usually three older women together)was to take drink orders from two, then ask the third for proof of age. Usually got a good laugh, a fun time with customers, and a very good tip.
NOCLICK September 21st, 2011 at 06:22 PM
You know what are the worst things you can do to people who you want to read stuff on your internet site? 1. Music 2. Flash 3. Forcing them to click more than twice to read the entire article 4. Forcing them to click more than twice to read the entire article 5. Forcing them to click more than twice to read the entire article 6. Forcing them to click more than twice to read the entire article 7. Forcing them to click more than twice to read the entire article 8. Forcing them to click more than twice to read the entire article 9. Forcing them to click more than twice to read the entire article 10. Forcing them to click more than twice to read the entire article
@N_C_B September 21st, 2011 at 07:27 PM
WAH-WAH!!! I'm so mad about the formatting of this FREE content!!!
Customer September 21st, 2011 at 06:51 PM
The only thing worst than a poor customer is a waiter who thinks it's ok to mess with someone's food for any reason.
Peter Voth September 21st, 2011 at 07:25 PM
I do not make eye contact with people. It makes me uncomfortable. Do you want me to be uncomfortable?
cNOTE September 24th, 2011 at 01:01 PM
@PeterVoth ...you're uncomfortable making eye contact with people?!?!?! - do you cry after you have sex too??
Arthur Dent September 21st, 2011 at 07:35 PM
My biggest pet peeve as a customer is going to a large empty restaurant, and being seated directly beside the only other people in the place. I know they do this for their own convenience, but can't you put a one-table buffer between us in your 200 table restaurant?! It's really weird being crammed next to strangers, hearing everything they say, in a quiet, cavernous room.
Mar Dandeneau September 22nd, 2011 at 10:55 AM
Wow, complaining about the food and being really drunk? How original! Did the person writing this ever work in the service industry? Top 5 (intentionally leaving off tipping under 20%, that's too easy): 5 - Tipping with Compliments (complimenting the waiter on his service then under tipping the bill) 4 - Ignoring you when you come to the table and start to introduce yourself. 3 - Chain-ordering, aka one person orders a drink, then the next person orders a drink when you drop off the first drink etc. 2 - Bringing children. They're loud, they smell, and they demand stupid things that cost nothing (sippy cups anyone). Everyone hates your children except for old sterile widows. Keep them in a cage until they turn 10. I'm serious. 1 - Ordering tea or cappuccino. These drinks cost nothing and eat up prep time. Think about it, a beer costs at least 5 dollars and requires the waiter picking it off the bar. A cappuccino requires a saucer, a cup, a spoon, brewing the cappuccino, FROTHING MILK, finding cream, finding sugar... the chances of at least one of these things being misplaced in the kitchen is about 110% and it adds a whole $2 to the tab. Seriously don't do it. Unless you hate your waiter, then order a decaf cappuccino and ask for low fat milk.
Aaron September 22nd, 2011 at 11:10 AM
I have come to learn from similar posts on the internet that waiters are a bunch of whiny bitches. Don't order Tea or Cappuccino?? Really, are you that lazy?? I bet you are one of those assholes that expects at least 20% even when you are a cynical douche.
Marc Dandeneau September 22nd, 2011 at 11:23 AM
I bet you're one of those cynical douches who reads articles based around jobs he's never worked then critiques people's opinions who actually know what they're talking about. Do you offer unwanted opinions on anything else you know nothing about? Like how to make people not hate you?
J. Böhme September 22nd, 2011 at 01:54 PM
...or not. I agree with Aaron. Granted, I've never held one of these jobs, but I have plenty of friends that have. Being a server turned them into some of the most entitled, bitchy people. One of my friends goes insane if she gets less than 25% from a table. I'm like, "really?!" She gets pissed at people for requiring more than one drink refill during their meal. She makes a good bit of money, and she still bitches about it. I know that this isn't indicative of every server, but most of the ones I know act like this. It causes me to think less of all servers. I know some restaurant patrons can be rude, inconsiderate, and very unreasonable, but servers can be far worse.
Marc Dandeneau September 22nd, 2011 at 02:07 PM
First of all, 25% is crazy. If you get mad at anything above 17-18% you are being whiny. With that said, you really can't knock it til you've tried it. Read "Nickel and Dimed." It's a book written by a sociologist who decided to survive off minimum wage in America and worked a variety of jobs. After working several degrading jobs the one that pushed her over the edge was waiting tables. She actually ended the experiment early because she couldn't take it anymore. Let's hear from some people who've waited and see if they agree with my list.
JDub September 22nd, 2011 at 02:13 PM
Marc - you're a douche. If it's on the menu, I'll damn well order whatever the hell I want. You have a problem with the prep time or that it doesn't add more to your bill? Bitch out your manager, NOT the customers. It's a menu item. It's offered. You're a selfish prick for getting mad at people for ordering something that you consider the least ROI of YOUR time. Sorry, buddy - you have to take the bad with the good. You're there to serve people and make money because you can be good at it, not play a game of "how much money can I generate for myself and get mad when my own customer slow me down?"
Aaron September 22nd, 2011 at 02:30 PM
Your right, i never was a waiter. But my mother was for many years when she was younger. I remember her telling me stories about it, both good and bad. You know what? She didn't bitch about people ordering cappuccinos or things that were otherwise her job. If you don't like it QUIT. Don't try to make the rest of us conform to your delusion of how things should be.
Marc Dandeneau September 22nd, 2011 at 03:03 PM
You guys realize you just finished reading an article specifically written about shitty things about being a waiter. Then you're angry that people wrote shitty things about being a waiter right? I'm not exactly stopping you in the street here. This would be like me going out of my way to find the message board for "ten things you didn't know about blowing homeless people for their change" then critiquing your ball-tickling technique.
Aaron September 22nd, 2011 at 03:32 PM
I think the point is that these "shitty things" are superficial and stupid. Most of us were expecting to hear things that are actually bad. Not just someone ranting about the crap that should be there job to deal with. Is it fair? no, but it is reality. Other the other side it is a good thing that our "real problems" are less and less serious.
Marc Dandeneau September 22nd, 2011 at 03:49 PM
you were looking for "real problems" from a humor-based article? Much like your parents it sounds like you just had unrealistic expectations.
Matt September 24th, 2011 at 10:48 AM
Hey, Marc, ya know what most servers do (myself included) when they realize that their job sucks? They get a new job. Sure, it sucks to spend 5 minutes on something that costs $2 and is going to make you $.40 in tip if you're lucky. That belongs on "Top 5 things that suck about waiting tables" not "Top 5 things the customer can do to a waiter". I'm not sure if you are a server currently, but if you are and you don't want to be, then get a new job.
JZ September 22nd, 2011 at 11:25 AM
I might be used to better or not being an American may be another reason but the mayority of the 10 worst things todo are all what lacks in quality from the servant. 10) Yes maybe its unpersonal yet not everybody is in the mood for being interested with the servant. 9) Yup drunk it's a nogo, though dont serve to much either. 8) There is nothing to be rude about if it is good. Restaurant owners/servants to often think what they deliver is up to the expectations but fkups in the kitchen happen. Underheatened, scorched whatever can go wrong or simply it's a crappy restaurant. Don't get angry to get to know what's wrong. 7) Indeed, keep children and dogs out of a restaurant if they can't keep in place. 6) What is it, personal or rule #10 unpersonal. If someone wants to be able to talk in person accept it. person to person business can result in such situation. 5) Tasting, though never done for food is more then common for wines. Don't like it, don't be a servant. 4) Table switching is usually the direct result of shitty tables. Make sure tables aren't cramped, placed close to a toilet or any other crap. Worse don't think that if you don't know the client it's ok to put that person in a less then perfect place. It is not and people simply shouldn't accept crap layouts. 3) Yup lengthy calls are annoying though yelping or whatever online rating is done is usually the direct result of crap service/food. People get furious and indeed go ballistic. Don't blame the customer for your own mess. 2) After closing time yes don't do it. Yet if everyone is still having a chat I understand you want to push a new table but then again if the client is there to have a talk learn to accept. 1) The whole tipping system is screwed from starters. Do not go into a Reservoir dogs situation here it's all a matter of opinion. Though I was interested to see it as a pretty much daily restaurant eater this whole article seems to be written from the perspective that we should be happy to be allowed into a restaurant. The whole perspective is wrong fly over once to Europe and if possible France. That's where they still know how to facilitate their clients and what it means to run a restaurant. Seeing two stars restaurants in the States left me more then disapointed since i expected that the tipping would guarantee a quality service. I couldn't be more wrong since the majority of the restaurants are nothing better (or pretty often even worse) then most common European restaurants. (Not to speak about asian service).
Aaron September 22nd, 2011 at 02:40 PM
Well said.
Chris September 22nd, 2011 at 12:17 PM
I agree with most of the 10 things and having had roommates who were waiters i've heard them all. One thing I have to say to waiters is, give me all of my change! Don't short me 25 cents when giving me change to make it an even dollar amount, that annoys me sooooooo much and it ultimately affects how much I tip you and i'm a good tipper, minimum 25% unless you don't give me all of my change.