We've reached the heart of music festival season—Coachella 2014 kicks off this weekend in California and with it will come a whole new horde of garish outfit crimes that only music fests can inspire normally level-headed people all to commit. Expect the grounds out in the Indio desert to be flooded with super bright neon tanks, inexplicable headgear, faux-hippie apparel, and parody tees. Those damn, awful, unfunny parody tees. Hopefully you haven't planned every Coachella alphet yet, because we're here to save you from being laughed at in a street style round-up next week. Read on for How to Not Look Like a Douchebag at Coachella.