Image via Complex Original
The Nike Fuel Band has become one of the most popular accessories for sneakerheads. With a handful of styles to choose from and the ability for users to show off their accomplishments every day through social media, it's quite the little gadget. But what if the Fuel Band was really designed for sneakerheads? We think it would measure things differently—you know, like resale value, over-matching, hypebeasting, and then some. We got some help from our friends Geoffrey Carter, Andre Bedword and Gerald Novoa at Rocket Galaxy Comics to help get our point across. Check out 10 Things Sneakerheads Wish The Nike Plus System Measured and let us know if you would use one of these sneakerhead-specific Fuel Bands.
RELATED: What Your Sneaker Choices Say About You
RELATED: 10 Signs You're a Lame Sneakerhead
Neckbreaks
Any time you wear heat (which is every day, right?) you want to know how many people check out your kicks. You'd keep an eye on it yourself, but it's awfully hard to do that, look at what other people are wearing, AND keep an eye on your own kicks all at the same time, right? This Bluetooth attachment is like a little dubray that keeps track of eye contact, keeping you apprised of how many other 'heads are peeping your sneaker game.
Oversharing
A new super-sensitive sensor records every keystroke, screen tap and shutter click, determining when your presence on Twitter/Instagram/Tumblr/Flickr has become far too prominent. A wireless signal disables your keyboard/phone, and a siren sounds until you turn things off and go outside.
Influence
How much do other sneakerheads want to be like you? Let your Fuel Band tell it. Infuencers everywhere will be influencing their asses off!
Resale Values
Just copped those new LeBron quickstrikes and even before you head out the door you're about to throw those things on eBay. In a sneakerhead's perfect world, the Fuel Band would be able tell you how much you can flip them for before you even make the purchase.
Trollability
Yep, we just made that word up. But you know exactly what it means. As much as we hate on people that leave nasty comments all over our shit, it still gives us something to make fun of with our homies. Imagine if Nike's Fuel Band told you how many haters were going to tag you on Instagram? You ain't doing things right unless you have haters, right?
Hypebeasting
Sneakerheads throw around the term 'hypebeast' like LeBron throws down dunks. Funny thing is, you don't have to buy hyped shit to be a hypebeast. If that Nike Fuel Band measured your daily hypebeast level, 'heads might actually learn to chill.
Sell-Through
Gotta struggle to keep the lights on and pay the rent but don't want to miss out on this Saturday's release? Yep, sometimes it would be nice to know if you can pick up those new Js a few days after they release or not. Re-stock notifications too, please.
Instagram Likes
You just spent 20 minutes trying to get the perfect picture of your kicks but in a perfect world, Nike's Fuel Band would tell you how many likes you were going to get on Instagram before you even posted your pic. Hm, maybe try a different angle.
Over-Matching
If you have to ask, then it's probably already too late.
Twitter Followers
Will posting this new pickup get me more Twitter followers? Wouldn't you like to know? (It's OK to admit it, we won't tell anyone.)
