It's official: The movie you used to watch on late-night cable with the volume turned way down low is 15 years old today. Directed by Roger Kumble, Cruel Intentions, the not-so-family-friendly film is all aboutSebastian (Ryan Phillippe)betting against his stepsister that he could deflower a proper good-girl virgin (played by Reese Witherspoon). If Sebastian loses, Kathyrn (Sarah Michelle Gellar) gets his sweet Jaguar. But if he wins, he gets to have sex with his stepsister. Actually, Kathryn says he gets to "put it anywhere," which we can only assume is up the butt. So butt sex with his step sister. You know, the usual, or something.
With a movie so chock full of rich teens obsessed with sex, it made us wonder what Cruel Intentions would look like as another type of teen movie. Say, one that airs on TV after school with a very special message. So we wrote it.
Sebastian Valmont has it all: cars, money, and the vote for Homecoming King.
He's captain of the tennis team and they're going to the State Championship!
As if his schedule isn't busy enough, he's heavily involved in the model United Nations at his school, rounding out his extracurriculars.
He has the best friend...
...the best girl...
...and a stepsister he actually gets along with!
Everything's perfect! That is, until a journal bullying his peers is released at school and it's got his name written all over it.
And worse, no one believes that he didn't do it!
Overnight, Sebastian loses his friends and his girlfriend.
On top of it all...
...he realizes that his stepsister has started to fall in with the wrong crowd to deal with his apparent betrayal.
Can he help her beat addiction?
Can he get his girlfriend back?
Through the power of communication and guidance counselors, of course!
Written by Hope Schreiber (@HopeSchreiber)