Unless you're a fan of the Seattle Seahawks, Terry Crews, Jack Bauer, or hilariously disrespectful Eli Manning memes, Super Bowl XLVII sucked. The game itself was a lopsided massacre, with Russell Wilson leading Seattle to a 43-8 trouncing of the Denver Broncos, un-led by Peyton Manning and his 48-minute struggle face. The commercials, for the most part, were uneventful to anyone other than cynics who love seeing once-great icons demeaning themselves for paychecks.
Worst of all, this year's crop of new movie trailers and advertisements did little to enhance the night's overall wackness. If not for the efforts of Chris Evans, Michael Bay, and that badass Dinobot, the brief teaser for Tim Tebow's ridiculous fake movie Illegal Formation would have been the broadcast's cinematic highpoint. Relive the disappointment below, masochists.
Transformers: Age of Extinction
No surprise here—the new commercial/trailer for Michael Bay's Transformers: Age of Extinction kicks ass. It's short, to the point, and loaded with the franchise's best asset: those massive extra-terrestrial robots and all of the fighting, flying, and destroying they do so lavishly (and expensively).
What Bay's latest Super Bowl ad has that its three predecessors did not, though, is a robot dinosaur. Plus, Mark Wahlberg instead of Shia LaBeouf, a welcome change and definite upgrade. Of course, Bay's movies always come prefaced by dynamite trailers, so it's important to not get blinded by rocket-firing Autobots and forget that the same thing happened when the first Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen preview aired during Super Bowl XLIII. Who knows, that robot dinosaur could open its mouth during Age of Extinction and spit out "cool black guy" dialogue clearly written by square white men.
Muppets Most Wanted
Yes, in case you've already forgotten, a new Muppets Most Wanted trailer premiered last night, trying to crib those good ol' "Twitter Reacts" features every other site does. Rather than sell the fact that Kermit and friends' next misadventure co-stars comedic badasses Tina Fey and Ricky Gervais, the Muppets team went for "cray-cray" and "LOL. BRB." jokes. The movie itself should be solid (after all, it's the Muppets with Tina Fey—how can that not work?), but its silly big Super Bowl spot debuted with about as much impact as left hook from a fuzzy-fisted Fozzie. #WhereIsJasonSegel
Written by Matt Barone (@MBarone)
