Distinguishing features: Running eyeliner; bloody elbow; shattered iPhone screen 

Tread lightly around The Crying Girl because she's "having *sniff* a really *sniff* hard night, OKAY?!" As wildly unpredictable as this chick is, her night always ends the same way: Fly off of the rails, swing on a doorman, and sob inconsolably in a bathroom stall. In sum, this woman is an episode of The Bachelor personified.