It's that time of year again—Valen-time's Day, a.k.a. Valentine's Day, a.k.a. the day when everybody from Trammell to Jesenia to homie in the NBA jeans suddenly becomes fools for love.

Not your hosts, though. Desus and Mero are here to pierce your candy hearts with #knowledgedarts on what V-Day would be called if it was a holiday for dudes, giving sex as a gift, taking a Manhattan girl to El Mangu Tipico, hood proposals, getting pregnant by a K-list rapper, #struggcore, why a BJ just ain't enough in 2014, and the similarity between side chicks and Kincks fans.

Special shout out to Blue Microphones for their awesome Nessie adaptive USB microphone, which we use on every podcast. Buy the Nessie on Amazon and check out the exclusive celeb endorsement on this episode.

Check the #desusvsmero show archives to catch up on past episodes. Also, you can subscribe on iTunes, listen on Stitcher, or peep on Podbay.fm. Leave a rating, tell all of your friends, and stay woke.

Sidebar: Here's the YouTube video discussed at the end of the show. It's real.