You may have heard about the little “whoopsie!” that occurred last month at a screening of family-friendly Frozenin Pinellas Park, Florida. If not, here’s the short version: due to some technical difficulty with the projection, the theater announced that the screening would be slightly delayed—but in the meantime, they’d keep all the moviegoing tykes entertained by showing the classic cartoon Steamboat Willie… except the “Willie” they got was of a much more scandalous variety.
While some reports claimed that what screened instead was the red-band trailer for Lars von Trier’s Nymphomaniac, a representative for that film’s distributor has stated that it would be “extremely unlikely” for that to be the case, as the X-rated trailer can only be viewed online.
But put aside the X-rated mystery that’s a-brewing in the Sunshine State and it’s not all that difficult to see how some of today’s trying-to-be cutesy kid’s films could be mistaken for a pornographic feature, just based on title alone. Don’t believe us? See how you fare with the pop quiz below by answering: Is It a Porno, Kids Movie, or Both?
1. The Nut Job
Witha tagline like "No Nuts, No Glory," can you really blame us for being confused?
2. Nut Busters
There's not one animated squirrel to be found in this 2005 release from Hustler Video.
3. Furry Vengeance
Wow. Brendan Fraser sure does seem to have a type when it comes to picking scripts.
4. Furry Delight
This 2013 release promises "over three hours of furry and delicious treats!"
5. The Nutcracker
This one depends on who you ask: if you're talking about the 1993 adaptation of the classic ballet, or its 2009 3-D version starring Nathan Lane and Elle Fanning, you've got something the whole family can watch. The 2012 release from Staxus Productions, on the other hand, offers just as much movement but not a whole lot of dancing.
6. Holes
Not to be confused with Exquisite's Holes of Glory 1 through 3. Before he was ripping off the work of more famous celebrities, Shia LaBeouf was starring in this 2003 big-screen adaptation of Louis Sachar's novel.
7. Snow White and the Three Dwarfs
Because seven would have taken this play on the classic fairytale too far.
8. Puss in Boots
Not so fast there. In addition to two adorable big-screen adaptations of Charles Perrault's fairytale, adult distributor Plush Entertainment released its own version of the classic title in 2006.
9. Thunderpants
Leave it to the Brits to release this 2002 film about an 11-year-old boy whose "amazing ability to break wind leads him first to fame and then to death row, before it helps him to fulfill his ambition of becoming an astronaut."
10. Slappy and the Stinkers
Slappy is a sea lion, people!
11. Bushwhacked
Because it would be a shame to let a title this good go to waste.
12. Pound Puppy
Pluralize this title and you'll find not one but two animated series, based on the popular 1980s line of stuffed animals. But keep it at just one puppy and you've got a 2013 release from Rascal Video that claims to be "For Men Who Like It Ruff."
13. Kiki's Delivery Service
In this 1989 animated feature from Hayao Miyazaki, a young witch supports herself by opening up a broom-based delivery service. Wait, what did you think she was delivering?
14. Little Monsters
Fred Savage and Howie Mandel might be surprised to learn that their 1989 kid horror cult classic has got a gay porn sibling, which stars Jimmy Coxxx.
15. Babe
Truthfully, this unfortunately trick question is really Babe the pig's fault. Because by the time his Oscar-nominated tale came sniffing around in 1995, a Ron Jeremy film by the same name had already been on adult video store shelves for more than a decade. That'll do, pig.
