The Worst "As Seen On TV" Inventions

When it's 3 a.m. and you can't fall asleep, everything seems like a good idea.

December 8, 2013

Image via Complex Original

We're all guilty of watching those late-night infomercials and occasionally wanting to give into the crap they're selling—I mean, who didn't have a Chia Pet? Most of the things they're selling will never actually be put to use, but when it's 3 a.m. and you can't fall asleep, everything seems like a good idea. Granted, "As Seen On TV" is likely one of the most profitable businesses in existence, but that doesn't cut them slack for selling some of the most ridiculous things we've ever seen. Here are The Worst "As Seen On TV" Inventions.

Roll Up Electronic Piano

Here's an idea: how about getting your kid an actual piano so they know what they're playing. The Roll Up Piano might be cheaper, but it's not an actual instrument. It's more like a rug that happens to play low quality music.

Perfect Polly

Quite possibly the creepiest thing we've ever seen, let alone just on the "As Seen On TV" website. Granted, pets are a huge responsibility. However, that still doesn't explain purchasing a motion detection parrot that chirps whenever you walk in the room. This is pretty much like a scarier version of Furby.

Fanny Bank

The product may be terrible, but the slogan is amazing: "drop some loot to hear the fanny pack toot." If you don't have a bank account or know someone who really loves butts, this may actually come in handy.

Chillow

We've all heard the expression "cooler side of the pillow." But that doesn't mean you have to go out and buy a cold pillow. In reality, it's more like a cold mat that you can sleep on. Sounds cozy...

Hot Huez Hair Chalk

Back in the day when girls went through the "let me dye my hair" phase, they actually went out and bought temporary hair color. Now, Hot Huez lets you smear chalk in your hair for the same effect. Let's put it this way, your hair is not a blackboard: don't put chalk in it.

Miracle Socks

Because wearing regular socks is simply out of the question. Miracle Socks claim to soothe tired, achy feet, giving them a boost of energy. Unless they're soaked in Red Bull, we doubt they'll actually work.

Leg And Foot Warmers

You know that feeling you get when everyone says Ugg boots are ugly, but you secretly want to wear them anyway? Well, just imagine what people will say if you make an appearance in these babies.

GoGo Pillow

In case anyone was wondering, this kind of magic contraption already exists. It's called an iPad case. For that matter, Apple also sells iPad stands, holders, attachable keyboards, and tons of other accessories. So don't worry, you don't have to walk around with your iPad shoved inside of a pillow.

Pajama Jeans

As if society isn't lazy enough, Pajama Jeans will let you to leave the house in the same outfit you fell asleep in. As per the infomercial, this "groundbreaking" product is perfect for any occasion. Although possibly comfortable, these jeans certainly aren't fashionable, so wear at your own risk.

Zoomies

If you thought Google Glass made you look weird, it's nothing compared to Zoomies. Essentially, they're binoculars you can wear as sunglasses. Why someone thought this was a good idea, we're not exactly sure. But, what we can tell you is that it's not a good look.

Fat Magnet

Think of this as a metal detector for your food. The only difference is, it finds fat instead of metal. Just imagine never eating a fatty meal again, simply by waving you're fat magnet over your food. Totally normal.

Air Curler

Unless your hair is made of cotton candy, this product probably won't work for you. If you're hair is unmanageable, the air curler will firmly secure it into the shape of a bird's nest... because, bird's nest. You're best bet for great hair is to go get it professionally done.

Sauna Pants

Obviously, people would pick these up because going to an actual sauna totally comes with all of its own problems, right? Sauna Pants let you control the temperature to your desired warmth and basically sweat away your problem areas. Sounds legitimate.

Head Wedgie

You read that right, it's called the head wedgie. A pillow-like invention that allegedly secures users into a position that keeps them from tipping over when they fall asleep. Aside from the fact that you'll look a strange carrying this thing around with you, something like this has existed for a while now. It's called a neck pillow.

WaxVac

Just as gross as it sounds, the WaxVac is a vacuum for ear wax. What's worse is that the wax collects inside of the machine, which you then have to clean out. Q-tips it is.