Even at the least complex level, a burger is a thing of beauty. Succulent protein, sometimes bolstered by the addition of cheese, sometimes left to marinate in its own glory, while two seedy buns encase this experiment for the ultimate feat of culinary perfection. A burger is beautiful just the way it is.
But here in America, more is more. Bigger cars, bigger houses, bigger wallets, bigger boobs, bigger guts, and subsequently, bigger burgers. We like them topped with unpronounceable French things, lots of sauce, seventeen kinds of cheese, and stuffed with exotic meats that make us feel brave, like a Turducken. Bravery is an undeniably American trait.
In honor of the great American tradition of burgers, we've rounded up 25 of the most decadent burgers in the United States. Live long and prosper? How about eat well and die happy.
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S'mores Burger
The King
Triple Coronary Bypass
The Bubba
Manly Burger
Where: Umamicatessan
City: Los Angeles
Address: 852 S. Broadway.
Website: umami.com/umamicatessen
Cost: $11
Umami is considered the 5th taste; the taste that makes your taste receptors literally drool and your brain crave more. If you think you are too much of a man to have such silly girly cravings over something as mundane as food, try the Manly Burger and think again. This burger truly has everything in it a man would desire. It has beer in the form of beer-cheddar cheese, salty onion string things, and the piece de resistance, bacon lardons. Because regular bacon is just not rich or fattening enough. A real man needs to eat pure fat.