Most of your female friends already know this, but it bears repeating: you look your most attractive on Halloween. Halloween is the only night where folks who aren't circus performers are able to hide their flaws behind spandex and distracting bright colors. If you're a guy, you have no excuse not to go for it on All Hallow's Eve: while women are expected to look sexy, men can just write off a failed attempt at looking good as a goofy costume. Once August hits and department stores make way for rows and rows of terribly manufactured costumes, march down to your local K-Mart and buy a child's size super hero outfit. Either you'll be able to show off your pecs without looking like a douche or you'll look really funny. Either way, make sure you post no less than thirty photos of yourself to social media the next day. If you happen to catch any women dressed as sexy Disney princesses in your stream of selfies, feel free to DM me a link on Twitter @muddycreekU.
Wear your Halloween costume.