If the only love you get is from thrice daily trips to Brazzers, don't feel too bad. Your addiction to Internet porn has probably affected your perception of intimacy, but this age of hyper-stimulation has left us all a bit disconnected. You might feel pitiful spending tonight alone, but closeness between human beings transcends the unnatural formalities of Valentine's Day and the raunchy simplicity of Trey Songz declaring that he's about to "Dive In."

See how complicated relationships are? Be happy that, at least for tonight, you don't have to lose sleep trying to figure this love thing out.