What is it? No one knows for sure. Not even the withering old lady with the hangnail who scooped it out for you. This dish is, essentially, some quantity of unidentified meat suspended in unidentified brown goop. No one enjoys it, particularly, except if they're weird. But wait, if the server's wearing a hair net, then where did this come from, you say, pulling out a strand of long, greasy hair.

The answer: Just shut up and eat. Don't ask questions. Especially about the laxatives most colleges put in it.