50-year-old Mark Miller found himself on the wrong end of the law after jabbing a pregnant woman with a sword during an argument, and smearing a peanut butter sandwich across the chest of another on Friday night. Miller threatened to kill Brandi Bodiford—who’s six months pregnant—but she was able to grab the four-foot blade and prevent him from stabbing her.

The peanut butter sandwich attack is just absurd (hope it wasn't his dinner), and after being taken into custody, Miller allegedly chewed on some cushions that were in the back of the police car. He says the “damn lesbians” banging on his mobile home are what prompted the attack.

Miller, who was charged with battery, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and criminal mischief, is no stranger to jail. Since the mid-90s, he’s been arrested over a dozen times, with most arrests being for similar crimes. Old habits are hard to break.

[via NY Daily News]