You can't make this stuff up. Watch as police roll up on this drunken man-child cruising around in a stolen motorized scooter.
We love the part where a local news reporter interviews the rightful owner of the scooter.
Reporter: What kind of person would do something like this?
Scooter Owner: A terrible person!
The joyrider, a prototypical haggard-looking Cops reject, had a blood alcohol level three times the legal limit. His driver's license has been revoked since 1993. Can't Imagine why.