Word filtered out over the weekend that Apple was going to announce spending plans regarding its excess cash. $100 billion of excess cash. Maybe they were going to help out the struggling American economy? Give Foxconn employees a better raise? Donate to schools? Something good? Anything good?

Well, Apple has made their intentions clear and it’s ok… I guess? Well, certainly if you already own Apple’s $600/share stock, because Apple will award quarterly dividends of $2.65 per share beginning fourth quarter of this fiscal year. While that certainly seems like chump change, it is quarterly and the return equates to about 1.7% annually, a lot better than, say, a savings account.

Apple looks to spend about $35 billion on the dividends and then another $10 billion on repurchasing shares in order to “[neutralize] the impact of dilution from future employee equity grants and employee stock purchase programs.” In other words, Apple wants more ownership of itself so it can pay itself more. Brilliant.

[via Gizmodo]