1. Law enforcement is keeping Seagal from his true calling.

Between Grindhouse and Machete, Rob Rodriguez is owning this whole meta-so-bad-it's-good lane. And as his turn in Machete proved, Seagal's horrific acting skills make him a prime member of the troupe. He could be facing his Hollywod revival with similar roles, but laying down the law doesn't leave much time for frivolities like acting. Actually, better yet, thank you, Phoenix. Keep him away as long as you can.