Theyz in ur interwebz, eatin ur timez: Puppiez and Babiez.
Chances are, you've been so thoroughly overwhelmed by this Internet meme that you didn't even register that sentence as the gross assault of grammar that it is. It's time to tear yourself away from those adorably annoyingly mispelled captions on icanhascheezburger.com puppy pics and quit searching for YouTube videos starring unintentionally humorous three-year-olds biting fingers and cursing.
Don't see the harm in your actions? Web-surfing like this has lead Animal Planet to create a show called Puppies Vs. Babies (premiering Saturday, 10 p.m.), on which "16 of the most popular and most adorable clips of animals and infants posted on the Internet battle it out to answer the question once and for all of which is truly cuter: puppies or babies." Are you happy now?
The Internet is making you soft, disgustingly soft, but Complex is here to toughen you up again and save you from your unhealthy diet of adorability with something far different, something that will haunt your dreams for many, many nights to come: ugly puppies and babies. Maybe now you'll recognize them for the true terrors that they are!
So the next time someone dares waste your precious time with a link to a video of a kid after the dentist or a forwarded picture of a pup in a bowtie and top hat, direct them here as cruel, much-deserved revenge.
Written by Shanté Cosme (@ShanteCosme)