You mean, "What to see besides more twos than Jigga?" Right. You're gonna be spending most of your time walking on the beaches looking at the peaches, but maybe you get sunburned and want a day off, maybe you're too hungover to be in the sun at all, or maybe you like taking acid and touring old houses. Who knows, different strokes, etc., etc., but if you do spend some time away from the sand and sun, you'll want to check out a few other things to see down south in My-Am-Eee...
VIZCAYA MUSEUM & GARDENS
3251 South Miami Avenue
• John Deering was a real estate baller, and this museum and its gardens on Biscayne Bay was his winter getaway. Built between 1914 and 1922, Villa Vizcaya will give you that "I wish I lived here" feeling, but if you're really dying to get that "I'm glad I don't live here" feeling, just hit up one if Miami's numerous freeway overpass homeless encampments.
3485 Main Highway
• Another old ass house in Miami (where "old ass" means 120 years young), this one was built by original Coconut Grove resident Ralph Munroe, who put his sick seaside pad on a natural oasis.
CAPE FLORIDA LIGHTHOUSE
Rickenbacker Causeway to Crandon Boulevard to Cape Florida Park Boulevard
• The beach nearby kind of sucks but you can climb to the top of this century old structure and get a view of the town of Key Biscayne and the Port of Miami in the distance. On a clear day you might even see Mt. Rick Ross.
1116 Ocean Drive
• Gianni Versace was shot right outside this banging mediterranean villa he built on Ocean Drive. So obviously they renovated it and turned it into a hotel, restaurant and event venue.
MICCOSKUKEE RESORT & GAMING
500 Southwest 177th Avenue
• God bless the Miccosukee tribe and their Uncle Sam-given right to take our hard earned cash.
MIAMI JAI ALAI
3500 Northwest 37th Avenue
• The best place to be a weekday gambling degenerate (you can go Friday and Saturday nights, too, if that's your cup of tea), and the "World's Fastest Game" is guilt-free wagering, to boot. Unlike the dog and horse tracks in Florida, the fellas on the jai alai fronton are competing of their own free will. Of course, they get paid less than the pups and ponies, but who's counting?
EVERGLADES NATIONAL PARK
State Highway 94 (Homestead)
• If you're in south Florida, you might as well see a real live Florida gator. And these don't cry. No Tebow!
RELATED: WHERE TO STAY IN MIAMI!
RELATED: WHERE TO EAT IN MIAMI!
RELATED: WHERE TO SHOP IN MIAMI!
RELATED: WHERE TO PARTY IN MIAMI!