In his weekly column, rapper John Brown'the self-proclaimed "King Of Da Burbz"'will be offering his insight into politics and current events to the Complex readers. Check out "Politickin With John Brown" every Thursday.
After eight grueling years of destroying various aspects of our country, the GOP is finally destroying itself. The country's cultural landscape has shifted in a way that has Republicans fabricating heroic anecdotes, embracing ebonics and scrambling for a leader. Hella entertaining. I'm sure there's some competition for Obama out there, but if so, I haven't seen anyone. Most that have emerged only reinforce confidence that a Democratic majority will have a dynasty not seen since the days of Roc-A-Fella. Now we all know that Joe The Skinhead and Sarah Pipeline are gunning for that number # 1 spot. But let's look at some of the other potential leaders who could drive the GOP even deeper into irrelevance...
5) BOBBY JINDAL
• You know it hurt the GOP's heart when their star non-cracker delivered the most patronizing, contrived television address since Bush bounced. It didn't help that he fabricated a bizarre tale of governmental fuckery, which ironically placed blame on his own party for Katrina. TKO, bitch.
4) MICHELLE BACHMAN
• If she wasn't so frightening I'd truly love this woman based on her delusional psychosis that makes for fascinating TV. After calling for an investigation into non-American activities in Congress, Bachman was yanked off of cable and barely survived a razor-thin election. So oblivious to her own ignorance, she introduced RNC chairman, Michael Steele, at a recent event, with the awkward compliment, "You Be Da Man!" *Shivers*
3) ELISABETH HASSELBECK
• No she hasn't officially declared her candidacy for anything yet, but you know it's coming. The GOP is privately livid that the "All-American" woman's aesthetic has shifted from the blond, Caucasian, persuasion to a more diverse look. She's been building her fan base on The View and gaining sympathy with her meltdowns. Let's hope she makes an emotional decision to put Country First and go down in electoral flames.
2) MICHAEL STEELE
• I think it's starting to dawn on Mr. Steele that his victory as head of the RNC was nothing but a cruel inside-joke waged by cynical intra-party adversaries. They must get a kick out him parading forced "hip-hop lingo" from network to network, while getting overtly sonned by various news anchors who question his power. Sad, really.
1) RUSH LIMBAUGH
• The question isn't whether or not he'll run for president, but how soon. Sure homie pops more pills than Cindy McCain at a rave and blurts out racist observations at a rate that would make Prince Harry blush. But he's nice on the mic, markets himself well and has internet soldiers ready to go to war for his faux-freedom. And the democrats are wisely boosting his importance, knowing that a 2012 primary win for Rush is anathema for a GOP future.