John Brown: The Suburban Recession Survival Guide

The economy is affecting everyone these days, even the suburbs. Luckily the King Of The Burbz has some tips on how to make it through.

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Complex Original

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In his weekly column, rapper John Brown'the self-proclaimed "King Of Da Burbz"'will be offering his insight into politics and current events to the Complex readers. Check out "Politickin With John Brown" every Thursday.

After throwing billions of tax dollars to executive bonuses, our agents of change have agreed for more financial Viagra to supposedly stimulate our impotent economy. While we're waiting for it to kick in, it's important to utilize survival instincts in the event that the pills are bunk. So here's my "Another Day In The Burbz Recession Survival Guide"...

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TIP #5:BBQ AT THE CRIB
• Rather than drop ridiculous loot on disappointing restaurant food, fire up the George Foreman and get your local park grub on. If you don't have a grill, microwaveable Hungry Man meals will help you save, and eat like a nursing home Don.

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TIP #4:ROCK PERSONAL THROWBACKS
• New threads aren't cheap, especially when you're trying to maintain that Suburban swag. But don't sleep on your old gear. Often rummaging through your closet can turn up some jewels that'll have you saying, "Damn, this is still kinda fly."

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TIP #3:RIDE A BIKE
• Not only will you avoid shelling out more cash for Shell, but you can boycott the overpriced bus like it's 1955. Your girl can sit on the handrails while you bike from party to party without having to worry about catching a DUI.

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#2: THROW HOUSE KEG PARTIES
• Fuck the club. You can buy a case of PBR for the price of a nightclub cocktail and there's no corny bouncers to hate on your sneakers. And to kick the hustle up a notch, a small entrance fee could quickly add up to rent money.

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#1:NO MORE EXOTIC WEED
• Let's face it, you gotta run with quantity over quality in these times. At first it's hard to substitute that tasty sour diesel with the garden-soil Aries, but you'll get over it. Your tolerance level will plummet and when you reunite with the chronic, a new-found appreciation will emerge. Word to the Smokeathon.

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