We are halfway through January, which means your New Year’s resolution of pronounced traps and an eight-pack has hit its expiration date. Don’t sweat, bro. The gym is more than just a place to burn calories. In fact, with the right look, weight room demeanor, and DIY social media campaign, one can flex hard in the fitness center without curling a single dumbbell.

For years, I’ve fluctuated between swollen freak and emaciated weirdo. There have been times when my shirtless selfie game was on point, and times when I’ve had to rely on the darker, exponentially more forgiving Sutro filter. I remember what life was like when as a timid lifter and, subsequently, the newfound respect my fellow meatheads showed me when I began punctuating my shoulder press with a primitive scream to the rafters. I am a gym douchebag. And today, I share my Douchebag's Guide to Next Level Stunting at the Gym and in Life.

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