10 Reasons It's Awesome to Be a Hypebeast

Campout buddies? Someone to share that expensive Givenchy shirt cost with? Fellow hypebeasts, either in real life or online (probably online) are a dime a dozen these days, which is beneficial to you. You have someone to share ideologies on website bandwidth capabilities with (DAMN YOU NDC!!!!). Wearing hyped shit together is also a much more effective tactic when it's done in droves.

It's impossible to tell what century you were born in when you wear head-to-toe streetwear and hyped brands. You could be 18 or you could be 30. Who the fuck knows? And who the fuck cares—you're among an elite group. And since you've been at it longer than most of these dudes, your experience helps you forge relationships with shop guys to get that latest drop, or actually gives you a nostalgic reason to purchase retros.

Backroom deals can't be accomplished without some due diligence. That networking connection wasn't made in a day, damnit. You worked hard to find that down ass chick who would stand in line for you when your work was being a bitch ass. You had to go through many a trial and tribulation to befriend that Finish Line employee and you even talked him down from 30% commission on resales to 25%. That takes mad skills.

Sleeping. Eating. Social interaction. All of these things are going to have to wait if you want to get your hands on something everyone else is also gunning. You're perfectly fine with it because you have conditioned your body in a way that these things aren't necessities anymore. Now, those Yeezy's? THOSE are a necessity.

Everyone who was lucky enough to get their hands on that "new new" is taking pictures to post on their favorite social media sites and forums, but a real hypebeast knows that a regular ol' straight up and down photo ain't gonna cut it. It's time show your skillz. BOOM! Your sneakers are levitating. OH SHIT! It looks like a chick is fellating you while you both wear the same kicks, aka getting sneaker "head!" This ensures that you got the kicks everyone else wanted and there is another human being willing to touch you sexually. Take that, you bunch of virgin, non-heat-havin' bitches.

Economics 101 ain't got shit on you when you're preparing for your next purchase. You have honed your brain into an efficient hype calculator. Did Kanye West wear it? Did A$AP Rocky mention it in a lyric? You know exactly how much that drives up the aftermarket price. Do you buy two or 15 of those camo jackets? Let's see the buzz on the forums. What's the resale value going to be like for those retros? You already know.

Sure, you could be on CSI—if your thirst for justice was as strong as your search for Jordans. The moment Supreme drops a lookbook or a new shoe gets leaked on the Internet, you're already doing your homework. How many are going to be available per location? Which accounts are getting them? When do they drop online and at what time? You find all of this out months in advance. On drop day, if there are 25 people in front of you in line, the 1:5 ratio of resellers lets you know there are about five motherfuckers who may mess it up for everyone.

Ha! They think you're working with a regular as 12mbps Comcast set-up? Hypebeast, please. This Verizon FiOS is where it's at when you need to have 6 different windows open simultaneously, all on separate websites. You aren't missing out on another release because your roommate wanted to crank it in the other room. Your internet can handle all that power and your skills are beyond the ability to hit refresh every five seconds.

Rapping isn't just about rapping anymore. It's also about the personality and style you bring to the table. You have to resonate with a target audience and, for many rappers, dressing the part means getting your hands on the gear everyone wants—before it's available to the masses. If your following boosts demand for a certain product, other brands will notice, and it can make you hugely popular.

There are worse addictions you could have in life. "Rehab" for hypebeasts is selling a bunch of covetable gear and kicks and finally moving out of your parents' basement. There maybe will come a day when you realize that the game isn't that serious, and instead of absolutely needing every single buzzed-about release, you'll learn to hold off every now and then.