Image via Complex Original
On November 4, 1998—15 years ago today—Belly hit theaters, marking Hype Williams' debut as a film director. The movie encompasses everything you love (and maybe hate) about a Hype Williams music video: flashy and entertaining, but ultimately a little superficial and far-fetched. The main question heading in was whether or not Nas, DMX, and a host of other performers-turned-actors could hold our attention (and their respective characters) for over 90 minutes. The answer is...well, it depends on your perspective. To some, it's the most leaden, cringe-inducing acting of all time; to others, the performances are part of what make Belly a modern-day cult classic.
Regardless of the acting, the characters have stood the test of time in hip-hop lore, from the morally conflicted Sincere and the violent Tommy “Buns” Bundy to bit parts like the lollipop-sucking Kionna and the strip-club-shooting Shameek. (And damn, yo: Taral Hicks.) So who would play these roles if Belly came out in 2013? The image above should offer some clues, but click on to see who else we would cast in our imagined remake...
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Kendrick Lamar replaces Nas as Sincere.
We've made the comparison before, so it only makes sense that Kendrick reprise Nas' role as the relunctant, book-reading criminal who dreams of Africa. We actually think the new King of New York would bring a little more life to the character—or at least not seem half-asleep, as Nasir did for much of the original movie.
Meek Mill replaces DMX as Tommy "Buns" Bundy.
The 2013 version of Buns would be adorned in Audemar watches and Pumas, with a megaphone-style voice replacing X's trademark growl. Imagine the Dreams & Nightmares intro over the classic nightclub robbery scene.
Rihanna replaces Taral Hicks as Kisha.
Rihanna is a shoo-in to play the scorned mobster moll, Kisha. Her appearance would incite a box-office bonanza of horndogs eager to see her get (tastefully) nude for her sex scene with Buns.
Alicia Keys replaces T-Boz as Tionne.
Alicia Keys seems like the right choice to play Tionne, the embattled girl of Sincere. That is, as long as we don't have to hear "Girl On Fire" at any point in the film.
Teyana Taylor replaces Vita as Kionna.
It's only right that the actors playing Buns' girl and his mistress actually have real-life beef. Somehow we think Teyana would fit right into her role as the side chick throwing salt in the game.
Mavado replaces Louie Rankin as Lennox.
If you couldn't understand Louie Rankin's dialogue in the original Belly, you definitely won't understand Mavado in the new one. Bonus points to the Gully God for actually looking like he could kill you through the screen with his cold gaze.
2 Chainz replaces Method Man as Shameek.
It would be hard to top Meth on charisma, but 2 Chainz would add his own flair to the role. For example, ad-libs: after (spoiler alert) killing Big Head Rico, he'd shout "TRUUUU" and upon (spoiler alert) meeting his end, he'd mutter "DAYUM" as he takes his last breath.
Nipsey Hussle and Freddie Gibbs replace Hassan Johnson and Oliver "Power" Grant as Mark and Knowledge.
Gangsters playing gangsters. ’Nuff said, really.
(Sidebar: We didn't actually recast the role of Black, the guy who Buns makes strip in this unforgettable scene. Maybe Jay Electronica?)
Fredo Santana and Bow Wow replace James Parris and Stan Drayton as LaKid and Wise.
One of the better scenes in Belly occurs when Buns' little duns, LaKid and Wise, get into an argument at a resturant that rapidly escalates into a gunfight.
In our 2013 version, Fredo murks Bow Wow, thus unseating the King of 106 & Park and starting a new GBE reign of terror on the BET show. Well, maybe not the last part.
Earl Sweatshirt replaces Tyrin Turner as Big Head Rico.
He's already got the big head, and he's even rocked a similar hairstyle to the self-proclaimed "illest nigga in Nebraska." But can he munch a banana without wiping his mouth?
Tyler Perry replaces Benjamin Chavis as Rev. Saviour.
Rev. Saviour's final monologue is actually a pretty impactful scene, so we're counting on Tyler Perry to bring the heat. From Madea to Alex Cross to Minister Benjamin F. Muhammed—just another acting highlight in T.P.'s storied career.
