Your Favorite Celebrities Who Suck at Twitter

Sadly, not every celebrity can be as adept at Twitter as everyone's favorite new play Auntie, Jackée Harry, the surprisingly not-as-douchey-as-he-seems Kobe Bryant, or the reigning champ of Team No F**ks, Rihanna. For every famous person whose star brightens thanks to social media, there are several others who you just wish would've never bothered to engage with the masses on Al Gore's Internet. Here's a list of 25 offenders. May they get better, or better yet, get offline.

Username: @realDonaldTrump

Donald Trump was always known to be an arrogant prick who'd probably give himself fellatio if he developed a yoga habit. What we didn't know, though, was that he was a prejudice harboring jackass who needs adult supervision before logging into social media.

Username: @MiguelUnlimited

You don't bite the hand that both tweet you and largely keep you waist high in perm boxes. For the record, Miguel, Black people let Luther cook, Freddie Jackson bake, allowed Prince to fry just fine, and surely let Michael Jackson sear in all his splendor and sequins. They are also largely behind why you even have the wee bit of fame you have now.

Username: @AmandaBynes

I'm not sure what exactly Amanda Bynes is going through, but I sure wish she wouldn't go through it online. May every God bless you, Ms. Bynes. Plus, you know, every medical professional.

Username: @TheRealRoseanne

Roseanne's timeline is like taking a tour of the home of that crazy lady on the block whose invitation to come in you always avoided.

Username: @justinbieber

All Justin Bieber does on Twitter is retweet the compliments of his minions. I can't tell if it's him not having much to say or whether or not he's just one of those constant retweeters of praise--i.e. one of the worst kind of people ever. Please don't hurt me, Beliebers.

Username: @KeyshiaCole

Who uses Twitter to insult one of the biggest singers on the planet? A fool who wants a bunch of pissed off teenagers, gay men, and their mamas (who just learned how to work their phones) insulting them for the rest of their social media existence. That's who.

Username: @TigerWoods

Not that I expected Tiger Woods (y'all) to be quoting "It Ain't No Fun (If The Homies Can't Have None" or "Area Codes" in his Twitter feed, but damn, Tiger, why so boring? C'mon, guy, have you at least seen any good movies lately?

Username: @Usher

My guess: Usher's Twitter feed is being ran by an NBC publicist for "The Voice."

Username: @TheLilMoShow

Lil' Mo is a talented vocalist, though while she's admittedly gotten a lot of attention on Twitter (in replace of hit singles, but I digress), she's about as beloved around "Black Twitter" as Creulla de Vil is at Pound Puppy headquarters.

Username: @TimTebow

Tim Tebow's Twitter timeline won't suck until he's officially a pastor of a megachurch instead of an out of work quarterback...and not a second sooner.

Username: @AZEALIABANKS

I enjoy Azealia Banks as much as she adores multicolored weave. However, when you ask most people about the rising rap star from Harlem, they'll tell you more about her Twitter spats than they will any of her new music. Maybe she's right in that media folks tend to make a story out of anything. However, if you know that, why continue to keep providing the fodder one new Twitter rant at a time?

Username: @ChiefKeef

I don't care what she said about your song, sir, you don't threaten Katy Perry. Also, how can the city of Chicago close more than 50 schools when its young residents type like this?

Username: @Beyonce

Why won't you tweet us, Beyoncé? Tell me baby why don't you tweet us when your iPhone makes it so damn easy for you to tweet us (t-t-t-t-weet us)?

Username: @ParisHilton

People who hotlink every single Instagram picture they take suck. These people suck even more when they offer some fauxtivational phrase to go along with a shot of them giving side eye to the sky.

Username: @TomCruise

It's cheesy to have your name listed as "TomCruise.com." Besides, I'm pretty sure Tom Cruise is too busy on Theaten level 16,000,000,000,000 to know what a Twitter is.

Username: @TonyParker

For what it's worth, I only think Tony Parker's Twitter sucks because I don't speak French.

Username: @ochocinco

Chad Johnson is a lesson on the dangers of oversharing. From his marriage to Evelyn Lozada to, well, just about every detail of his private life, the man can't stop, won't stop. Do not follow this example.

Username: @RobKardashian

It takes a lot to get Rob Kardashian to reach a 140 characters, and unfortunately in his case, it takes a broken heart. No matter how much weight he loses, Rob will forever be that guy who bitched out his ex-girlfriend in the most despicable way possible. Someone's got to tell him tweets themed around Mariah Carey's "Emotions" is a social media don't.

Username: @MettaWorldPeace

When the athlete-artist formally known as Ron Artest isn't spending his Twitter time drowning in self-promotion, he's offering confusing musings about life that probably only make sense to people renting space in his head. Word to the wise: Stay away!

Username: @MaryJBlige

I love MJB so much that I feel downright disrespectful for including her. Unfortunately, while I don't think Mary is a fool by any means (there are plenty of dummies with formal education), she isn't the best proofreader. Forgive me.

Username: @KanyeWest

This goes out to all of the people who applied for a job with DONDA. This also goes out to the folks who loathe people who routinately sweep their timelines clean--messing up their favorites.

Username: @BritneySpears

Santa seemingly never brought Britney the gift of gab for Christmas, so while I'm happy to know she's doing better, I can't believe this is Britney tweeting until she uses Vine and/or Keek to prove it. Then get the video clip notorized or something. That said, thankfully Twitter wasn't around when Britney Spears was shaving her head and trying to crack the skulls of pestering paparazzi. Had that been the case, perhaps we'd be looking at her like Amanda Bynes' troubled big sister.

Username: @Tyrese

To his credit and our collective impending doom, Tyrese managed to build a book career off of delivering grammar-challenged advice to poor, unfortunate souls who will believe anything a celebrity tells them. That may be shrewd, but if you can't spell philosophy, you probably shouldn't be dispensing any.

Username: @2Pac

If it's not creepy enough that a dead rapper is on Twitter, it's even creepier that he's providing commentary on various award shows. I know some people would like to believe 2Pac is somewhere in Cuba, eating Boliche with Fidel Castro, but that dude is gone, and thus, should not be on the Twitter. The same goes for every other celebrity tweeting from beyond the grave.

Username: @ChrisBrown

Chris Brown is the reason the universe gave the world publicists. He has thrown temper tantrum after tantrum on his timeline. More recently, fans and detractors alike have complained of the R&B singer cursing them out via DM for saying something he didn't like. If that weren't all bad enough, Chris had the nerve to take on the very people whose job duties are essentially to save him from himself.