10 Things You Should Never Do To Your Sneakers

Let's not front, you're on here because your sneakers are basically extended family in your eyes — you pay for them, house them, and take care of them. With so much time and money invested it would be a shame to do something stupid after you get your hands on those must-haves on your sneaker bucket list. We decided to give you a guide of dont's so you don't end up looking foolish. Check out 10 Things You Should Never Do To Your Sneakers and let us know any other rules apply to the sneakerhead way of life.

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Unless you are 12 or playing for a teammate À la Benji, you really shouldn't be writing anything on your shoes. This goes for you NBA players, too. Unless you're autographing for a fan, just because you made the League don't mean you can ignore common sense of being a sneakerhead. We get you want to stand out from the average dudes but save that for the 140 characters you have on Twitter, fam.

There is an exception for the avid collector who rocks one and stocks one, but if you spent your hard-earned money on them, let 'em breathe. No one is that impressed when you Instagram "finally un-DS'd these from '92" just to see them crumble on your first wear.

You laughed when you saw it become an internet meme but that shit isn't funny when it happens to you. They say when people come at you, they'll come at your loved ones. Make sure when you get out, you grab your grails first. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Politics can be a bitch. Whether you're upset with the former president for starting wars for no reason, or the current president for having a frustrating footwear game, try to keep yourself under control and keep from unloading one of your Js at the President. The Secret Service will make you regret it and if you're sitting on the couch at home and put one through the TV, the wifey will make you regret it even more if she misses out on an episode of True Blood.

The panic is real the first time you get your "Cement" IIIs get dirty, but throwing them in the wash is not the solution — bleach and kicks don't mix like, well you know the Biggie line. Jason Markk might end up being your best friend the next time you want to look fly in the club and someone spills all over your sneakers.

We get that your pair is DS. We get that you have seen the how-to video. And we even understand that celebs do it. Unless you're JusteneJaro (or licking her Air Max 90s), licking sneakers just ain't cool. Besides, you probably paid extra to get them joints early and the factory that they were made in is probably about as sanitary as the diseases that have destroyed these sneakers.

We're not saying it's a bad look, but unless it is your party you should respect the dress code and not be that guy who couldn't break out some nice loafers for one night — your lady friend might appreciate it too. There's a time and place for everything. Do you really want to be remembered as "the douche in Chucks" who is on the do-not-invite list in the future?

You may want to add a little flavor to that "garden" you've been growing on the patio but really, sneakers aren't intended to be growing things in them. Even if your kid has outgrown his baby Js. Besides, anything that grows from a pair of old sneakers cannot be kosher.

We're not against creativity, not at all. Let's be honest, though. Having extra sneakers around is all part of being a sneakerhead. Hell, sometimes we have to clear them off our desks just to get online (to buy more, of course). No need to take things to extreme, like turn them into bicycle wheels. Who does that? Oh.

If you were able to avoid the wrath of your ex, hopefully you don't go and destroy your own sneakers by setting them on fire. We get that the game is whack and that sneakers mean nothing because they're just sneakers. But have some heart, consider that those Yeezys or South Beach LeBrons are worth a few stacks at least. Rather than torch them for NT fame, sell them and make a video of you feeding the hungry and homeless. $500 in McDoubles could go a long way for someone who hasn't eaten in three days. And if that's still not a good enough reason, please, don't light them on fire while they are on your feet...