Hey, will you connect with me on LinkedIn? I would like to connect with you on LinkedIn. I just endorsed your skill on LinkedIn. Hey, will you endorse my skills on LinkedIn? People are looking at your LinkedIn profile. Hey, did you know that [name of person you don't know] recently looked at your LinkedIn profile? Hi, I'm your LinkedIn profile. Will you please fuck me?

Surely, some or all of the above sounds striking familiar — probably because subtle variations of the above statements frequently flood your inbox to your great pleasure profound annoyance. As if suddenly aware of the fact that people really need to like you in order to willingly use you, LinkedIn has (finally.) announced plans to drastically reduce its email notification presence. 

Aatif Awan, LinkedIn's senior director of product management, announced earlier this week that "the site will now send out weekly email digests instead of individual messages announcing requests." As part of this reduction process, automatically generated email notifications will be cut by a commendable 40%. "Many of you have told us that you receive too many emails from LinkedIn," says Awan. "We get it."

That's great, Awan. But will you please connect with me on LinkedIn?

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