Rating the Acting in Drake's "Hold On, We're Going Home" Video

Drake released a music film—don't you dare call it a video—for his single, "Hold On, We're Going Home." He also wants you to hold on to your seats, as he stars in this action-packed gangster revenge tale. Of all the lingerie models in the world, these unforunate goons just had to take Aubrey Graham's. Now he's mad.

He didn't come alone, either. The Canadian Pacino brings with him a powerhouse gang (and cast) that includes the likes of A$AP Rocky and one of the dudes from Majid Jordan, just to name a few. Bullets fly, ammunition is stocked, and the body count skyrockets.

It's about time the Academy gives some attention to the video's director, Bill Pope (the Director of Photography for the Matrix series). Expert pacing and brooding, electric cinematography that recalls the work of American master Michael Mann make him a must for future projects. But ultimately this is a character-driven short, and thus we must rate the acting in Drake's "Hold on We're Going Home" video.

RELATED: Imagining Drake's Filmography If He Never Became A Rapper
RELATED: Every Pop Culture Reference on "Nothing Was the Same"

Grade: B+

He blinks emphatically, like Jake Gyllenhaal in Prisoners. His hair has nothing less than the most crisp of parts. The singing half of Majid Jordon has no lines in Aubrey Graham's adaptation of every Michael Mann crime movie, but he's singing on the song and isn't that why we're all here watching this seven-minute-long masterpiece? For the music?

Grade: B+

Director Bill Pope noticed that there was gaping space at the dinner table, so he put this lucky caterer in a suit. He'd get an A if he gave off the impression that he knew what he was doing there. He's so damn serious. Doesn't he know he's in a Drake video?

UPDATE: THIS IS ACTUALLY CHUBBS, OF OCTOBER'S VERY OWN. AS DRAKE TELLS US ON "CLUB PARADISE," CHUBBS IS IN LOVE WITH STREET SHIT. WE ARE REALLY FREAKING SORRY, CHUBBS! PLEASE DO NOT BRING ANY STREET-SHIT HARM TO US. IT WAS AN HONEST MISTAKE. YOU KEEP A REAL LOW PROFILE. TRULY, WE ONLY KNOW ABOUT YOU THROUGH LYRICS, NOT PHOTOS. HENCE THIS GAFFE. NOW WE WILL NEVER FORGET.

Grade: B-

Look at Johnny Simmons's baby face. There's a reason why dude's always cast as the virgin (The To-Do List) or the quiet newb (Scott Pilgrim). He's about as threatening as the Charmin bear, and his role in the otherwise fearless Hold On We're Going Home is no different. It doesn't help that he looks like Derek Zoolander on cough medicine. That cross earring though? Standing ovation.

Grade: C

Her voice is extremely low in the mix, almost impossible to hear. (C'mon, you know you sat forward in your work chair to hear out of the tiny computer speakers, too.) This only indicates one thing: she flubbed the lines so bad they had to drown her out. Kudos for being able to cry on cue, but Meryl Streep, she is not. At least Biebs beliebed in her at one time. There is that.

Grade: B+

You know this guy's played a murderer on CSI like six times. Dude's a natural. The perfectly slicked back hair, the deep creases on his face, like misfolded khakis—he was born to play creepy eastern European guys in action movies. That tracksuit and gold chain? His. It's his go-to audition outfit. He wears it everywhere.

Grade: C+

A tragic case where an actor "phoning it in" is not his fault. Steven Bauer, who played Manny Rivera in Scarface, looks game, but the meager script leaves him with little to do. He gives you a glimmer of the menace he could have brought to the role, but aside from one line—xeroxed from any revenge flick filmed since the dawn of time—he is completely underused. What's his motivation? What did Aubrey Graham's character take from him? Bauer is much more than a square jaw. What a waste.

Grade: A+++

Most actors need two hours to turn in a memorable performance. Santana needed, what, half a second? We don't know how many hours Fredo practiced that smiling grimace in the mirror, but when it counted, he nailed it.

Grade: A+

Gravitas. Sharp comedic timing. Did we mention, gravitas? Rocky's speech has it all, and more. We're not sure what his role is in this outfit of powerful men, what they sell, and how it is that this crew got there, but one thing cannot be denied: Rakim Mayers, a.k.a. A$AP Rocky, led them there. You want to talk range? He has acres of it.

In a poignant moment that can go criminally unnoticed on a first viewing, Rocky emotes a rich yet understated display of concern for his friend. He deftly, subtly points to Drake and then puts his champagne down to give the beleaguered man the attention that fateful phone call deserves. No, Rocky, you know what takes a lot of balls and a lot of heart? Your performance.

Grade: A

Look inside your heart and tell me that when Aubrey Graham picks up from his immaculate marble floor the dress of his beloved, so chilly somewhere in the white lingerie she stole from Beyoncé and Jay's yacht, tell me that that scene doesn't split you in half. You're watching a man realize that he has everything to lose—because if he loses her, that's his heart.

He lets the dress fall and takes in a deep, sharp breath. His upper lip and nose scrunch up like a little pug dog. He puts his hands behind his head because he can't hold the one he loves. Now, he can only grip the coldest steel.

He's gonna shoot out all the lights and kill all the traitors. His face empties after killing Johnny Simmons, a.k.a. Young Judas, a.k.a. Gold Cross, a.k.a. Hair Gel John. Graham only has the emotional capacity to care for his beloved, and possibly for young women who have lost their way and now work at Hooters, and then only on lazy rainy Sunday mornings, when no birds sing.

When Graham sprays Tracksuit Goon and then peels back his ski mask, it's like the sun appearing on a day when the weather reporter said there could be no sun. And Aubrey Graham says to those weather reporters, "Even if there can be no sun, there can be me." He embraces his woman, fills his strong hands with her hair, inhales the rich pageant of its scent. They're finally home.