If you're looking to start a new career, the phone sex industry might be for you. Yes, despite the Internet sucking the life out of it, phone sex still exists. Because people still like talking to humans on rare occasions.

Mélanie Berliet, a a freelance journalist, became a phone sex operator for a story. According to her, there are five key things to keep in mind if you want to be your very own Ari Graynor character in For A Good Time, Call... 

1) Dress for success

"It’s painfully taxing to adopt the voice of a seductress (think slower and softer than imaginable) while resembling the human equivalent of a three-toed sloth," she says. "Not to mention, it is asinine to wear anything you might associate with your real life lover while guiding a stranger to climax... The ease with which I could moan and groan while dressed in what felt sexy to me made that second call go by smoothly. It doesn’t matter that a caller can’t see you. You’re not going to sound sexy unless you actually feel it."

2) Watch your wording

"I focused on listing dirty adjectives (hot, sexy, wet, throbbing, etc.) and pet names (handsome, big daddy, sergeant sexy, etc.)," she says. "But what soon became clear is that these words, while affective, pale in comparison to simple affirmations such as 'Yeah!' or 'Like that!' or 'Yessssss!' I also noticed that it’s way more impactful to start a phrase with 'you’re making me feel…' rather than to say 'I feel so….' By crediting the caller for how you feel, you pet their ego and enhance their experience."

3) Props are important

"I set aside some rubber bands to mimic the smacking of flesh," Berliet explains. "Gradually, I became more resourceful. Every home is rife with sexy noise-making props if you’re willing to find them. A leather belt makes an excellent whip, for example. Meanwhile, popsicles and lollipops are ideal sucking instruments. And unless you’re overly sentimental toward books, slamming them on the floor sounds impressively similar to a headboard banging against the wall. Don’t be afraid to be creative."

4) Toss the script

"Expect the unexpected, she says. "Human sexual tastes are just so wonderfully varied. Some people are turned on by thigh-high boots, for instance, while some want to hear balloons being blown up, and some prefer a 'vanilla' session in which an operator describes masturbating. Suffice it to say that it’s a grand old waste of time to try guessing what a caller wants. A good phone-sex operator figures it out, though, even if a given caller isn’t forthcoming about their specific desires."

5) Maintain privacy at all costs

"I also pledged to steer clear of disclosing my location through accidental references to city landmarks," she says. "I, of course, made sure to mask my actual phone number by downloading Google Voice, too. Generally, I felt protected by the network of fiber-optic cables separating me from those who rang. But the fact is that it’s still possible to feel vulnerable, so you absolutely must establish personal boundaries. For some phone-sex operators, a request to discuss adult diapering is a major no-no. For others, any mention of meeting in person – even a fantasized rendezvous – can kill the mood. As for me, I learned that a certain tone of voice could creep me out. The beauty of the phone is: You can always hang up."

[via ABC News]