Last night, Showtime's Californication delivered its best Season Five episode to date, though, to be fair, we were prepared to say that whether we truly thought so or not as soon as the gorgeous Natalie Zea returned, as Carrie. The show's best episodes feature broad sexual comedy that's masterfully tethered down by somber themes of loneliness and hopelessness, and boy did we get a nice helping of both of those tones in last night's episode, "Waiting For The Miracle."
"What if I'm destined to sit around and wait for the band to get back together?"
Such is the quintessential question of Hank Moody's (David Duchovny) life for the past several years. Things may have started out with smiles all around when Carrie, Hank's crazy fire-starting lover from New York, brought her foul mouth and nutty persona over to the west coast, but her return prompted some blatant, frank conversations that illuminated just how sad Hank's life is right now.
Let's back-track, though. Carrie's in town for a potential job opportunity (a blond, hapless romantic with a career in print journalism—is that you, Carrie Bradshaw?), but she's really there because she's a sucker for love and thinks maybe, just maybe, Hank has matured enough to give her psycho ass a fair shot this time. But as we all know, Hank only has room in his heart for one woman, and it's not Carrie. Everyone's smiles at the seasonal raunchy dinner party (there has been at least one per year on Californication) were instantly wiped off when she brutally tore into Hank after she realized he's never going to be her white knight.
It was a one-two punch for Hank's ego when Karen (Natascha McElhone) came out to comfort him with blunt honest. She's made peace with her undying love for him while finding happiness elsewhere, and if Hank's engaging in self-destructive flings because he's waiting around for her, well, then he's waiting for a miracle. But does she mean it? As the episode's title reveals, a happy ending with Karen and Becca (Madeleine Martin) isn't just any miracle for Hank, it's the end-all fantasy and he'd rather sit and daydream than compromise that image.
Runkle, The Deflowerer
While Marcy (Pamela Adlon) took shot after insulting shot at Charlie's (Evan Handler) stroke game, or lack thereof, the hopeless bald agent was out on a blind date with Mary, the aptly named virginal friend of Nanny Lizzie. To hear Marcy tell it, Charlie Runkle is the last person that a girl should want to be her "first," and Marcy experiences the brevity of Runkle firsthand when she decides to stop glorifying the "first time" and just get it on.
If she decides to give him another shot, she just might end up being the perfect woman for him, considering she's even more socially awkward than he is. Her explanation of why one might not enjoy being fingered at Medieval Times was hysterical, as was her sudden foray into old English language during sex. Has Charlie finally found love?
Best Lines Of The Night
"Are we really going to stand here wasting our time with chitchat when we could be fucking each other's brains out?" - Carrie
"I fuck in dog years." - Hank
"This is nothing. I've seen some shit." - Becca
"They're not really friends, they're more like an entertaining bunch of narcissists." - Hank
"I think I'm going straight to blowjob city." - Carrie
"After a couple of decades with prima Charlie, anything longer than a Ramones song seems like tantric sex to me." - Marcy