Getting unfathomably wasted before noon while history unfolds before your very eyes? Great idea! To mark former FBI Director James Comey's appearance before the Senate Intelligence Committee Thursday, a bar in Washington D.C. will offer a round of adult-oriented beverages every time Donald "I Need Loyalty" Trump tweets during the hearing.
Union Pub opened at 9:30 a.m. with the promise that "a round of drinks for the house" would be provided for each tweet sent by the nation's tiniest hands, the Hillreported. "This 'special' will run 'til Comey's testimony is over, or 4pm, whichever is earlier," the bar said in a statement.
For those drinking at home, here are some additional drinking game pitches to ensure proper fucked-upness:
- Take a shot every time someone tiptoes around the phrase "golden showers"
- Take a shot every time you're taken aback by the fact that this fucking guy is POTUS
- Take a shot every time an internet-challenged Trumpee replies to your #ComeyTestimony tweets with a grainy, typo-filled Hillary 4 Prison meme
- Take a shot every time Comey relays a Trump utterance of the troubling word "loyalty."
- Take a shot whenever the fuck you want to. We're all fucked.
In a prepared opening statement released a day prior to the hearing, Comey recounted multiple meetings he had with Trump. During a one-on-one dinner meeting, Comey said, Trump demanded loyalty. "I didn't move, speak, or change my facial expression in any way during the awkward silence that followed," he said. "We simply looked at each other in silence. The conversation then moved on, but he returned to the subject near the end of our dinner."
