On Wednesday evening, a white pony named Juliette escaped from a children’s party in Madera Ranchos, California in what we assume was an attempt to break free and become an independent mare after listening to Beyoncé. She apparently had enough of posing with kids while donning a fake horn and went on a quest to find the realness that was missing in her life.
After getting caught by her handler, Juliette got away a second time and forced police to pull out all the stops in other to retrieve her. The family hosting the event called the California Highway Patrol who went full on Matt Damon-getting-rescued-in-a-movie with a fraction of the budget. Authorities used a helicopter and thermal imaging to find the pony, who had been hiding out in an orchard.
She was eventually lured out by a neighbor who returned her to the stable and to a life of subjugation. Yoncé would not be pleased.