Last week, rumors broke that Charlize Theron ended her long-term relationship with actor Sean Penn by committing the coldest new trend in dating—“ghosting.” This phenomenon is a heartless alternative to dumping a lover: the ghoster severs all forms of communication, making it clear to whoever they're dating that they're no longer interested (and, that their partner is not worthy of real closure). There are no answers, no deep discussions about why it's ending—it's just "poof." One minute they're there, the next, gone without so much a single "adiostext message.
A recent Reddit thread inquired about this break-up method, asking users if they'd ever been at the receiving end of this icy behavior. These eight horror stories are some great examples of how easily ghosting can happen to you.
Ghosting is completely warranted behavior if you have a terrible partner.
I did this to my ex GF. We were living together. I found out she was cheating on me (the proof was irrefutable) so I disappeared without telling her why. I found a new apartment, took the day off work to move out, changed my phone number, deleted all the photos of us from her laptop and social media accounts, and notified our friends and families that I didn't want to have any contact with her. I didn't tell them why, just that it was over. A few months later one of my old co-workers told me that she had stopped by looking for me, but fortunately I had started a new job by then.
I did this to a girl I had been talking to I worked midnights at the time and always slept with my phone on silent because its hard enough sleeping in the day light even without my phone going off. Well she knew this and thought I was ignoring her so she broke into my house to see why I wasnt answering her. I politely asked her to leave and that I would talk to her about it when I woke up. I just never talked to her again she would send enormous texts and leave voicemails so long that it would cut her off and she would call back and continue them like they were all one. I just never called or texted back, I ended up blocking her after a while I feel like an ass for doing it but in my mind I feel like she maybe deserved it a little bit. Last I heard she started dating a guy and after 2 weeks got married to him so I dont know if this is true but if it is I assume she coped with it well.
And other times, it's just cruel.
I was dating this guy for about 6 months. Everything was going great. He brought me juice one night I was sick and then I didn't hear from him again. I would text and call and no response at all. I was so hurt and confused. All I could do was go to school and work to the best of my ability but honestly I was severely depressed. I could barely get up in the morning and I was miserable. He contacted me months later and acted like nothing ever happened. Made up some excuse that a friend of his was in a bad situation and needed help. Its tough to shake the feeling that someone could potentially end it with you by ignoring you and ghosting. Definitely fucked up.
Uh, what kind of human being brings you juice before they dump you? In the words of Chappelle: WTF is juice?
Sometimes the ghosted have a difficult time accepting they've been ghosted:
I was casually dating someone for a few months. He stopped calling and texting so I decided to say fuck it and moved on. Well, I started to date someone new. I wound up in the hospital one day about a month into it and the guy that had stopped calling/texting was actually in the hospital at the same time with his ex (the mother of his children who is now a lesbian) two floors down. He never stopped by to even say hi. The new guy was there and spent practically every minute with me. In a very anti-climatic sort of way, that confirmed it for me that he was no longer interested. A few months later the not interested dude lost his shit and started to go on about how he loved me and I dumped him without cause. Lots o' drama.
Ghosting can also be a sign that there is something deeper going on with the ghostee:
I was dating a girl, great relationship always talked about getting married and having kids. We met through a friend and I stayed in CT to pursue the relationship instead of moving to Florida with my family. today was supposed to be our 1 year and haven't heard from her in 2 weeks, neither have her best friends. Family won't respond to phone calls or texts. No idea what happened to her. Her dad called one of the best friends who is getting married next Saturday. She was supposed to be the maid of honor. Anyways the dad called the best friend and said please do not contact her and support this request. So were all in the dark. Not sure what to do from here.
Sometimes ghosting is deploying when cowards lack the decency to call it like it is:
I was seeing a guy once over the summer. It was nothing serious, but I was in a pretty bad headspace at the time, as the previous non-serious relationship was abusive and before that had a pretty rough breakup. Anyway, it was getting towards the end of summer and he gets super sick. I take care of him for awhile until he's better, and then he gets a new job. I try to make plans, he avoids them, saying he's busy with work. One day, I asked if we were okay because I really just wanted to know what was going on since he kept saying we were fine. Never heard back.
And, perhaps the most heartbreaking anti-ghosting parable of all:
I was seeing someone for almost a year. We had met at work, and been friends for a couple years before dating. One day she told me she was quitting the job (not really shocking but it was sudden). Then she cut off everything. I found out a year later that she left me for an ex, got pregnant and married. The way I found out was by seeing her and her family on the train one day. I coped with it by drinking heavily for several years, changing careers, getting into drugs, and being depressed. Which I guess means I didn't cope with it all that well. I was young. She was the first girl I ever loved and probably fell in love with her long before we were dating. Then suddenly I was cut completely out of her life. It probably isn't honest of me to say that the end of the relationship was the reason for everything. I had started struggling before she left when my dad was re-diagnosed with cancer. He died about a week after left me. It was not so good.
[via Reddit]
