The 50 Hottest Russian Women.

OctoberOctober Revolution

Russia50 Hottest Russian Women

A manufactured pop duo consisting of Yulia Volkova (the brunette) and Lena Katina (the redhead), t.a.T.u. (a.k.a. "Tattoo") are perhaps the most exploitative act in the history of the music industry (and that's saying something). Proof? They started off as underage lesbians until they weren't (underage or lesbian, that is); that was their low point until Yulia posed topless while 8 months pregnant. Unchecked capitalism is a hell of a drug.

Growing up, Anfisa had dreams of becoming a serious actress. After these were quashed (probably by some toothless old Soviet hag apparatchik), she made borscht out of beets and is now the host of the very popular advice show Sex with Anfisa Chekhova. Side note: Can we tell you how confusing it is to research a beautiful woman from a country whose language you don't speak when she stars in a show that refers to sex with her?

The most flexible member of parliament from the United Russia party (or any other party for that matter), Alina was a gold medal-winning Olympic rhythmic gymnast in the 2004 Games before she began her career in politics. She was rumored to be engaged to Russian president/puppetmaster Vladimir Putin, although he vehemently denied it. Sheeet, if we had as much power as ol' VP, we'd wife Alina and cop to it in a hot Moscow minutski.

A former child star who now works in adult film, errr, waitwaitwait...works as an adult in film. She's a totally legit movie/TV/theater actress. Anybody know a good Russian libel attorney?

Russian Playboy Playmate of the Year 2009. We don't know much about her, but chances are you knew nothing about her before you looked at this (plus, how much do you really need to know?). So spasibo us later.

Miss Russia 2003 is the pride of Rostov-on-Don (the Donness of Rostov-on-Don, perhaps), and unlike the majority of her beauty pageant sistren, Victoria is apparently not dumb as rocks (she served as director of the Miss Russia pageant in the mid-Aughts). Although there are some nice scenes of her crawling through the mud on the Russian Survivor (Last Hero).

A.w.a. (also works as) Cherrjul, Juliya Cherry, Lolita Cherry...from what we can gather she's a very, very, very naughty girl, specializing in no-holes-holds-barred threesomes, and judging from the number of movies she's done, she's not shy and she loves—really loves—to work. It can only be a matter of time before she's...wait for it...Cumming to America!

In Russian tennis circles, Chakvetadze is known as the "good" Anna. She's won eight singles titles on the WTA tour (that is, eight more than the "bad" Anna), and an appearance in the semis of the '07 US Open. She was also the victim of a home invasion robbery, hence her other nickname: "Russia's Answer to the NBA."

Elena won the silver in women's singles at the 2000 Sydney Olympics as an 18-year-old and the gold at the Beijing Games in 2008. Our question: do they have a sports book at the Casino Megapolis in Moscow? And can you bet the o/u on tennis? Because we want ED for the over and under! Wait, that came out wrong...

Who she? Oh just the Greatest Woman Pole Vaulter in History (trust, her L-phase is exemplary). And that might as well be the Greatest Pole Vaulter in History, because, really, who wants to watch dudes vaulting poles? Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Anna's claim to fame? Her super-rich aluminum magnate daddy hooked up with her smokin' hot mama and made Anna. You and your crushed Budweiser cans behind the shed got no chance.

Just 26, Maria is a business reporter for the Vesti channel, having started her career in front of the camera while still in college. According to a Google translation of her bio, Maria is very particular about the way she presents herself on camera: "She
tries to stand so that the viewer was given the opportunity to see not
only her but also illustrate the expandable her question." We're not sure how to illustrate the expandable her question, but we'd be down to find out. Silly, silly Google translation.

What's the Russian word for "cat" you ask? Well if it's a male then it's "kot," and female, "koschka." And "pussy"? We never got that far. But Mickey Rourke (allegedly) did. Elena was his Russian language tutor for his role in Iron Man 2, and now they're rumoured to be engaged. Might we say the skaya's the limit for that romance!?!

The reigning Women's World Chess Champion, Aleksandra's a Grandmaster, but not a Grandmaster Flash (no nude pics on the Internet, gettit?) Forget about loggin' on to Yahoo Chess and getting into a hot IM cybering with her, but we would gladly lay down to any Queen's Gambit she's got to offer nonetheless.

Miss Russia 1994, Inna was born with a genetic defect that left her with a hole in her heart (she had it fixed when she was 6). And just because you have a genital defect doesn't mean you have anything in common with Ms. Z. She studied psychology and anthropology at the University of Moscow, and is one of the most famous Wonderbra endorsers around. Damn, they look so good on her, we might just buy one for ourselves.

She's been paired with football legends Jerry Rice and Kurt Warner (former bag boy!), UFC fighter Chuck Liddell, and Police Academy star Steve Guttenberg on Dancing with the Stars, but the pair that tends to get looked at the most are her legs. They are real (no prostheses!) and they are spec-tac-ular.

Another in a long line of Russian nymphs intimate with Mickey Rourke, Eugenia (or "Eug" as her friends call her) also has the standard Russian bombshell résumé: Victoria Secret, Elle and Vogue, as well as the Pirelli Calendar. If you're into NSFW shower tile design (as we are!) check out her Gianluca Fontana photos.

"Svetlana" is perhaps the sexiest name of all time. "Stepankovskaya"? Not so much. Still, Miss Krasnodarskiy 2008 finished second in the 2009 Miss Russia pageant, losing out to a "Sofia" (No. 2 sexiest name?).

Olesya grew up in the 12-house village of Likhoslavi (Stoplight population: 0) before emigrating to the U.S. when she was 8. She's starred in High School Musical, High School Musical 2, High School Musical 3, and was completely convincing playing American teenager Kelsi Nielsen. Or so we've heard. Actually, Kelsi would probably be our favorite character in the series. If, you know, we'd actually seen it. Which we haven't.

A singer from the eastern Russian sticks, Victoria won the 5th season of Star Factory (kind of a Russian version of American Idol except with the music-industry-as-sausage-making-operation part not only acknowledged, but trotted out front and center for all to see). She's since gone on to have a successful career on her own, and even posed for Playboy in 2007 (another notch for the Russkis in the "Why Russia Is Better Than the U.S." debate).

Bonya? But we hardly know ya! Victoria was born in far, far eastern Russia (practically China!) and got her start modeling in Moscow in the mid-'90s. She worked her way up through various broadcasting gigs to become one of the biggest actresses in Russia. She hasn't made any crossover to American audiences, which is undoubtedly a postive thing, since a) who gives a fuck about American audiences, and b) certain very immature elements of said American audience would probably have a field day making fun of her name.

The world is a funny place. Ivan Drago was the Russian supervillian played by Dolph Lundgren (Swedish) in Rocky IV. In the film he's married to Ludmilla Vobet Drago, played by Brigitte Nielsen (Danish) who once had a fling with Flavor Flav (American), who...now where were we? Oh yes, Lundgren (not Russian) directed the action/thriller Command Performance which prominently featured the music of Irson Kudikova (we'd get to her sooner or later) who is Russian, and who is also very, very hot. Look for both Lundgren and Irson at the award ceremonies come straight-to-DVD Oscar season. Like we said, funny place.

AK has killed a gang of Kleenex in her time, but it wasn't from family members dabbing their teary eyes after she won ('cause she didn't win—at all). A veritable cultural phenomenon in her hey (the leading search thread on Google in the early Aughts), Anna became considerably less the Russian tennis-playing "It" girl once Maria Sharapova came along and was hot and actually won shit. Still, when VH1's I Love the 00s premieres, expect us to relive the days of feverishly "stringing our rackets" as we watched early round WTA matches.

This is definitely no uni-browed Bullwinkle Natasha, but an Uzbekistan-born Russian beauty most recently seen in the last season of True Blood (she's also been in CSI, NYPD Blue, Nip/Tuck, The Unit, and Entourage. Quick, call the fire brigade, we've got a four-Alam fire...in our pants! OK, that definitely came out wrong.

Sokolova? Don't they call it futbol in Russia? Anyway, this is a former Playboy Playmate whose turn-offs include indecency and imprudence which we guess means you'll only find her on the softcore side of the pillow.

One of three hot singers in the pop group VIA Gra (which is both a reference to the drug and some kind of boring acronym in Ukrainian), Albina also played Snow White in a Korean production of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves in 1999. No word if her hiring for that gig was based on a typo involving her first name.

If Urashova you're going to have to go to timeout and learn to play nice with the other kids... And that, folks, is the last terrible pun we make with these Russian names, promise. Maybe. Anyway, Olga's the 2005 Dutch Playboy Playmate of the Year (she now resides in Amsterdam), she speaks Russian, English, Dutch, and Spanish, she studied International Relations in college, and she's got a tattoo on her shoulder blade, a piercing in her navel, AND GIANT FRICKIN' KNOCKERS.

Known for her ice blue eyes, fair skin, and long legs, Vlada has modeled for a variety of fashion houses (DKNY, Vera Wang, Christian Lacroix) and is not related to Vlade Divac. When she does eat, it's either sushi or blinis chased by a smoothie. She doesn't sunbathe and she's huge in Japan (no, seriously, the Japanese are kinda short).

This buxom and bouncy beauty was Miss Russia 2006 and went on to a brief stint in the previously mentioned VIA Gra. Yup, guess you could say that's how she Kotova...OK, just go ahead and shoot us now, cool?

Marina's a pop singer who performs under the name MakSim, which, as pseudonyms go, falls somewhere between crappy and just plain dumb. But whatevs, her videos are hot as hell, hit mute and crank up the Shostakovich.

Russia's known for its hot tennis players, but it's got a hottie on the links as well. We're not really sure how she swings a club with those things in the way, but there's something about how she holds that follow through on her drives...PING!

Oksana started in show biz as a teenager in the band Maloletka, which roughly translates to "Jailbait" (we're actually serious this time). She's since come of age and been linked to Mel Gibson. Jailbait and Mel Gibson—what the fuck you got on your little resume, playboy?

Ice dancer, model, Eurovision contestant, but NOT the heiress to the vast Semen-Os fortune (and you thought American rumor mongering was bad). In 2008 she released a solo album that sounds, when English-ized and pronounced phonetically, like "Crzhgy."

Here's a resume you don't see all the time: TV host, pop singer, porn star, and that last part includes a "project" directed by a member of parliament. Yeah, we see your invisible hand Adam Smith; ain't capitalism swell?!?

Classically trained as an opera singer, Zarina also does jazz and pop standards, but most importantly (to us), she's got those mysterious faraway eyes that make us go all glasnost for Russian girls. OK, we don't even know what that means, but her music is a great excuse to watch these incredible Russian soap operas.

In March Irina was crowned Miss Russia 2010, but her friends from home speculate that she's actually most proud of her 2009 win as Miss Yekaterinburg (East Side of the Urals, raise up!). As far as we know, she hasn't been seen on the arm of any greasy looking oligarch, but she's just 19, so give her time; she'll be petting miniaturized live animals and flinging 10 lb. diamonds at servants soon enough.

Who says boobs and brains don't mix? A former high school teacher, Marina is a philologist and an etymologist, and...uh, could you give us a second while we go look up those words?...OK, done. Marina was also voted the World's Sexiest Geek by Wired, and hosts the wildly successful website hotforwords.com. And if that's not all, you can download an app and play her in Attack of the Bikini Zombie Babes from Outer Space!

Anna claims she was inspired to act after seeing Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard which seems...peculiar (like wanting to be a quarterback after watching Ryan Leaf play). But whatevs, she's now an in-demand TV actress, starring in projects like Snow Maiden (wonder what that one's about) and That Peculiar Girl (really, really wonder what that one's about).

Born Alsou Ralifovna Abramova, Alsou's the daughter of a super-rich Russian oligarch and is married to another super-rich dude. She's also got a career of her own as a singer. Now, call us cynical if you must, but maybe, just maybe, numbers 2 and 3 above don't happen without number 1?

You may know "Anne V" from the last six SI Swimsuit Issues; she's also graced the covers of Glamour, Elle, and Vogue, and appeared in videos for Alanis Morissette and Maroon 5. Speaking of which, she apparently has a thing for losers, as she's currently dating M5 frontman Adam Levine and she also roots (in a NSFW way) for the Cubs.

You may wonder why Russian women's tennis is so popular and Russian women's shotputting is not, but we don't. Maria's career-best singles ranking is No. 18, and, unlike a certain countrywoman whose name rhymes with "Pornakova", she's actually won a couple tournaments in her life. Oh, and she's pals with Maria Sharapova and Ana Ivanovic. Yes, we have the occasional Canadian doubles fantasies, and we're not ashamed to admit it.

Yes, this is a list of Hot Russian women, but what you don't know is this whole production was just an elaborate ruse to give us a platform to talk about our real passion: Finnish symphonic metal. Anya appeared as a wounded angel in Nightwish's possibly-the-finest-piece-of-recorded-music-ever 2007 anthem "Amaranth." We probably shouldn't do this, but the link to the video is here. If you're able to continue looking at such a frivolous list of hot women after a dose of Nightwish, you're stronger men than we.

Friske? Oh yes, thank you! Unfortunately, the actress/singer/socialite is a member of the all-girl group Blestyashchie and not a member of the all-dude group Blestenation. It'd be a lot cooler if she was, though. Oh well.

If you get as much joy checking out the new faces section at fashionmodeldirectory.com as we do, you would already know that Valentina's been on the cover of Vogue in a handful of countries, and she's also spoken out against the "No Skinny Models" rule at the 2006 Milan Fashion Week. In an unrelated note, we just got you to click on fashionmodeldirectory.com!

Natasha was the runner-up of cycle 8 (spring 2007) of America's Next Top Model; her controversial political issue? She's pro-choice (she lost to the girl who favored the death penalty). Some less reputable sources have speculated that a rich Texan dialed her up on an Internet mail order bride service. SOCH (shaking our collective heads [II]).

Bust: 35C Waist: 24.5 Hips: 36. In related tech news, visiting too many websites containing .ru is dangerous for your computer, especially when you click on to too many Cyrillic hot links that for some reason keep redirecting you to [email protected]. For those of you who prefer to do it old school, there's the January 2001 Playboy and a spread in Perfect 10.

Miss Russia 2009 made something of a splash when photos surfaced of her wearing nothing but a (NSFW) pair of furry costume wings and... Damn! OK, don't click on the link unless you have a few minutes to spare.

One of the highest earning supermodels in the world, Natalia reps Gucci, among other brands. Alas, as the Kremlin continues to consolidate power and Russia becomes an increasingly authoritarian state, her chances of joining forces with Diddy for a "Votey or Nova" campaign diminish every day.

Swimsuit model, also apparently an athlete of some sort. The hottest Russian tennis player to walk the planet (which is actually saying something) and she can actually play (no Kournikova).

Model, muse to Ryan Leslie (but don't blame her for his lack of imagination), current girlfriend of futboller Cristiano Ronaldo, and star of Kanye's "Power" video, Irina is that chick. Not bad for a girl from the South Urals. So not bad, in fact, that we'll refrain from using one of our multitudinous "Urals" jokes in describing her. Although she can definitely Shayk it! *begins self-immolation*