The 50 Most Inappropriate Holiday Cards
Don't make the mistakes these people did.
Image via Complex Original
The holidays are a time to share warm feelings, happy thoughts, and goodwill with those around you. But when you can’t be close to those you love, what better way to show you care than by sending a thoughtful holiday card? Unfortunately, even that beautiful and pure tradition is sometimes not so thoughtful, turning the cheer and joy of the season into offensive, creepy, awkward, politically incorrect, or otherwise unsavory greetings.
When possible we've listed the designer—often, gasp, a politician or political party agency—and year of release. Other times, we simply let the inappropriateness of the seasonal greeting speak for itself. In all cases, we just can't believe people thought these cards were a good idea.
Check out The 50 Most Inappropriate Holiday Cards.
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50. Guard Dog
50. Guard Dog
Designer: Hildesheimer & Faulkner
If you have a puppy on your list this year, don't forget to specify which accessories you want for it. This beauty was designed in the 1880s, which reminds of two things: 1. inappropriate cards are nothing new and 2. the hipster hilarity of adding a gun to an otherwise innocent image is old hat.
49. Doggystyle
49. Doggystyle
The ultimate photobomb turns a happy family portrait into a show no one wanted to see.
48. Winter Weight
48. Winter Weight
At least the kid broke this bad news in time for New Year's resolutions.
47. Mistle(camel)toe
47. Mistle(camel)toe
Designer: Jack Cards
Do not try this at your next holiday party.
46. Sexting Santa
46. Sexting Santa
Designer: Vash Designs
This one is fresh for 2012. The inside reads: "Tweeting you a Merry Christmas." Looks like Anthony Weiner moved north after his resignation.
45. Hanukkah Hookah
45. Hanukkah Hookah
Designer: Vash Designs
Another new one from the humorous minds of Vash Designs. Here the inside reads: "Wishing you a smokin' Hanukkah!" A festival of a different kind of lights.
image via
44. Gangsta Santa
44. Gangsta Santa
Designer: Café Press
Yes, we admit it, 2012 is sadly a strong year for inappropriate Holiday greetings. This gem from Café Press reads, "Merry Christmas, Bee-yatch." The card falls way under the "funny" threshold and instead just swims in the "reinforcing negative stereotypes" realm.
43. Old Man New Year
43. Old Man New Year
Designer: Former Congressman Bart Gordon
The message is right, but the picture is oh-so-wrong. Perhaps the oddest Holiday card of 2011.
42. Holiday Pounds
42. Holiday Pounds
Designer: The Gaines Family
Nope, 2011 had worse than the former Congressman. On one hand, we want to know what is going on here. On the other hand, I don't want to look at it long enough to figure it out. Nice one, Gaines family.
41. Circle of Life
41. Circle of Life
Designer: Jorge Santini
Residents of San Juan, Puerto Rico got a weird greeting from their Mayor, Jorge Santini last year: A photo of his smiling family posing with a jaguar mauling an antelope that reads "Illuminate your dreams this Christmas." Santini said they wanted to promote the city's wildlife museum... marketing might not be one of his strengths.
40. Jesus Wishes You a Happy Hanukkah
40. Jesus Wishes You a Happy Hanukkah
Designer: Rick Santorum Campaign, South Carolina, South Carolina
Rick Santorum's South Carolina team probably didn't earn much support by printing a passage from the New Testament on their Hanukkah card in 2011. They chose a passage about light, appropriate to the Festival of Lights, but the passage also implies that people who don't follow Jesus will "walk in darkness." Santorum's campaign manager denied any knowledge of the card and said it was an "unauthorized" design. Oops.
39. Dark Secret Santa
39. Dark Secret Santa
Designer: Nick Downes
Is it worse to find out that Santa isn't real, or to find out that he's a murderer?
38. Away in a Manger
38. Away in a Manger
Designer: Hustler
It makes sense that Hustler's 2011 holiday card was inappropriate, but mixing politics and pedophilia is pretty dangerous territory.
37. So Last Season
37. So Last Season
Designer: Stephen Harper
This picture of the Canadian First Family shocked a nation in 2011—because the first family are wearing the same clothes as their photo from 2010! Those clothes are so last season! Oh the humanity! Wouldn't it be nice if that was the kind of problems your country had?
36. Cannibal Snowman
36. Cannibal Snowman
Designer: Jim Benton
He looks so happy doing it too...
35. Goodwill Towards Boys
35. Goodwill Towards Boys
Designer: The Kriley Family
The mother of these two kids, posing in front of a statue of Joe Paterno, intends to use the photo for their annual holiday card. What a heartwarming message of peace on earth and goodwill toward men, or, actually, boys. A decade ago, it would have been fine. Given that this card was sent to friends and family in 2011, eyebrows are raised.
34. Hoi, Hoi, Hoi!
34. Hoi, Hoi, Hoi!
Designer: SolarWorld
Last year, Solar energy company SolarWorld caused a stir by sending a card to its German clients with an image of a caricatured Asian Santa, complete with squinty eyes and FuManchu. A Chinese-American man in Oregon got a copy of the card and sent a strongly worded letter to his senators, urging them to discontinue doing business with the company. SolarWorld issued an apology, but not before the card and the story hit the Internet. Not all press is good press after all.
33. Too Soon
33. Too Soon
I see dead people.
32. Romney's Running
32. Romney's Running
Designer: Mitt Romney
In 2010, Romney took advantage of his grandchild's pain to announce his run for 2012. Poor kid, and his grandpa didn't even win to make it worthwhile.
31. Gingers Snap
31. Gingers Snap
Designer: Tesco
A red-haired mother and her three redheaded kids were not amused by this card they found at British supermarket chain Tesco in 2009. After they publicly complained that the card was "ginger racist", the store apologized and pulled it from shelves.
image via
30. White Kwanzaa
30. White Kwanzaa
Designer: 50thbirthdaygifts
We're not sure who should be offended by this confusing card, but we're pretty sure someone should be.
29. Ho Ho Ho
29. Ho Ho Ho
Designer: Totally Inappropriate Greetings
Rude!
28. Snow Bunnies
28. Snow Bunnies
Designer: Hugh Hefner
The good thing about being as old as Hef is that you don't need to think about what your grandmother would think of a picture of you and your twin girlfriends (these ones are of 2008 vintage) wearing nothing but body paint. Obviously, this man will have a happy holiday.
27. Moving Violation
27. Moving Violation
Designer: Congresswoman Loretta Sanchez
Every year, California Congresswoman Loretta Sanchez takes a holiday photo with her cat, Gretzky. This one—given out in 2008—stages a bit of reckless driving, but Sanchez assures that she did not take this shoot on the road, and she urges motorcyclists to always wear a helmet. (Sadly, Gretzky passed away in 2011).
26. Hanukkah Tre
26. Hanukkah Tree
Designer: The White House
For his last year in office (2008), George W.'s invitation to the annual White House Hanukkah Party featured a horse pulling a Christmas tree. L'chaim!
25. Presents Opening Kids
25. Presents Opening Kids
Designer: Rob Sheridan
In a word: terrifying. Sheridan designed this card in 2007. We still haven't forgiven him.
24. Afghan Girl
24. Afghan Girl
Designer: Governor Phil Bredesen
Even though he painted it himself, Tennessee Governor Phil Bredesen's 2006 Christmas card was not appreciated by many in his state who felt that the picture of a Muslim girl was not very Christmas-y. Some Christian groups found it offensive, but Bredeson defended his card saying that Christmas is a time for tolerance and joy for all people. He has, however, kept to innocuous images in years since.
image via
23. A Little Premature
23. A Little Premature
Designer: McCann-Erickson
The premature baby unit at Edith Cavell Hospital in England sent this card "prematurely" in mid-October of 2006. It says "a little premature, but Happy Christmas!" and shows Jesus in an incubator. The card was sent to ex-patients of the unit—taking "too soon" to a new level.
22. Suicidal Santa
22. Suicidal Santa
Designer: Tafkah
Designed in 2006, made infamous in 2012. How do you explain that to the kids?
21. Santa's Stickup
21. Santa's Stickup
Designer: Citizens Committee for the Right to Keep and Bear Arms
When a suicide bomber comes to blow up baby Jesus, it's a good thing Santa is packing. Clearly, 2005 was a crazy time for the Citizens Committee for the Right to Keep and Bear Arms
20. Maury Christmas
20. Maury Christmas
This episode: My wife cheated on me with God!
19. Your Mom
19. Your Mom
Designer: Zazzle.com
It's kind of an emotional rollercoaster when you follow up a cheerful greeting with "my mom has breast cancer."
18. Twin Peaks
18. Twin Peaks
Designer: Narcotic Lollipop Guild
Don't let this happen to you: Bundle up this winter.
17. Jingle Bums
17. Jingle Bums
Designer: Ibis Cycles
The staff at Ibis Cycles in Idaho got to know each other maybe a little too well when they shot this card back in 1992.
16. Holidays in Heaven
16. Holidays in Heaven
What's merrier than a message from your dead relative?
image via
15. Creepin' Claus
15. Creepin' Claus
In the Netherlands, Santa Claus travels with a troupe of elves called Zwarte Piet, or "Black Peter." They were once described as his slaves, but in the 1950s they updated the story and made them his "friends." As the Dutch are a generally pale people, Zwarte Piet is usually depicted in blackface—to this day.
14. Blackface Buddies
14. Blackface Buddies
As previously discussed, the Dutch can barely help being inappropriate.
13. Dark Humor
13. Dark Humor
Designer: Colonel George S. Patton
U.S. Army Col. Patton sent a heartwarming greeting from the front lines in 1968, complete with a stomach-wrenching photo of a pile of dead, dismembered bodies Viet Cong soldiers. The inside read, "From Colonel and Mrs. George S. Patton III - Peace on Earth." Distasteful doesn't even begin to describe it.
12. Christmas Guns
12. Christmas Guns
Designer: ChristmasGuns
A special gift that everyone in the family can enjoy! Remember the first slide? Yup, in 2009 the same jokes still worked as did in the 1880s.
11. Not-So-Little Mary Sue
11. Not-So-Little Mary Sue
Designer: Café Press
Inside of this card reads, "Through regressive therapy many years later, Mary Sue remembered the root cause of her eating disorder." Everyone puts on a little weight over the holidays... leave the kid alone, Santa!
10. American Christmas Devil
10. American Christmas Devil
Designer: McGinty Card Co.
This bizarre card, realeased in 1955, was the product of an equally bizarre collaboration between an American military veteran and a Japanese soldier he had shot in the face during WWII.
9. Hitler Klaus
9. Hitler Klaus
Designer: Nazi Party
During WWII, the Nazi Party's propaganda department published a book of patriotic material for Christmas—though hardly any of the content has anything to do with Christmas. This picture of Hitler gazing at a Christmas tree, delivered in 1944, was set next to text encouraging Germans to follow the Führer. Hitler's holiday quote is "all nature is a gigantic struggle between strength and weakness, an eternal victory of the strong over the weak". This is not the meaning of Christmas.
8. Pinup Prank
8. Pinup Prank
If they couldn't be with their sweethearts in person for the holidays, overseas soldiers sometimes received racy holiday cards as a consolation gift. The cards—complete with loving notes in girlish handwriting—may not have come from home, however, but instead from enemy soldiers playing a trick. This particular example comes from 1942.
7. Naughty Girls
7. Naughty Girls
Designer: Xjaeva
Didn't your mother ever tell you not to look a gift horse in the mouth? Likewise, don't call the guy who brings you presents a pervert!
6. Smokin' Santa
6. Smokin' Santa
Designer: Lucky Strike
Not quite a Christmas card, but after seeing Santa's endorsement on this ad, you can bet all the good little girls and boys will be asking for cigarettes in their stockings! Times were certainly different in 1932.
5. Black Peter
5. Black Peter
When Santa goes to the homes of bad little boys and girls in Holland, his sidekick Zwarte Piet beats them with a switch. A REALLY bad kid gets kidnapped and taken to Spain, where Santa lives, until he is better. So next time you're in The Netherlands, be very, very good.
4. Tired-Ass Christmas
4. Tired-Ass Christmas
A little aggressive there, Santa!
3. Shady Santa
3. Shady Santa
It seems that, back in 1915, Santa has crossed the line from jolly to murderous.
2. The Other Christmas Story
2. The Other Christmas Story
Designer: FlytraponE
Okay, so first of all, this teenage chick
who is barely out of grade school gets knocked up and tries to convince
people that she is actually a virgin and this imaginary friend (i.e.
god) implanted a baby in her. meanwhile, this lecherous old guy, Joseph,
who they say was around 50 years old, says he believes Mary's story and
is going to run away with her. So, we have this nutjob of a teenager
who might as well have said she was abducted by an alien and this cradle
robber (i.e. statutory rapist) who wants to marry this pubescent child
so he can get it on with a little girl. And they run off together as
outcasts. Of course there's no room at the inn. I mean, what small
business innkeeper wants to get caught up in that legal mess? That is,
until someone takes pity and offers up a barn. at some point, these
three old guys that people later call kings or wise men stumble upon the
letch and his crazy wife and give them some shitty gifts of smelly
herbs and gold. Later, these shepherds turn up saying, "I heard a voice
and it told me this helpless, smelly, pooping, crying baby is going to
save everyone from everything terrible that ever was." So we have eight
nutjobs sitting around in a barn with a bunch of farm animals and
they’re trying to convince people that this helpless infant who is also
the spawn of god will save the world from who knows what. Anyone who
tries to sell such a story today is tossed into a “home for special
people” to live out his days eating Jell-o and mumbling obscenities to
himself." Well, when you put it that way… maybe we should look into Festivus.
1. Minor in Possession
1. Minor in Possession
Designer: John Calcott Horsley
It looks innocent enough, but this design for the first commercial card—released way back in 1843—caused a bit of a stir when it was printed. Goes to show that kids sneaking drinks at family holiday parties is a centuries-old tradition.
image via