New Kickstarter Provides Solution To Your Complete Inability To Unbutton Your Shirt

Let me ask you a quick question. Do you have trouble taking off your shirt after a long day? Has all the typing you do on a daily basis left your hands and fingers in such a decrepit state of terminal carpal tunnel that you can't even unbutton your shirt, you savage? I hope not because you might a serious problem. Stop reading Four Pins and seek professional medical attention immediately. But if you don't have solid health insurance coverage, someone made a shirt that unbuttons in under a second because, sure, why the fuck not?

This is obviously completely unnecessary. That's a given. But more than anything, it's made me think of all the times that I haven't attempted to rip my button-ups off like they do in sex scenes in the movies. Shit looks awesome on screen though, right? Using a specially designed button shape that's more like a raindrop than a circle, these joints slide through the buttonhole with increased ease, even though I think we're all pretty good with the standard, round shape. Now, we've all seen our fair share of wack ideas from Kickstarter, but I have a fundamental problem with this specifically. WHO TEARS OPEN THEIR SHIRT FROM THE BOTTOM UP? Why would you do that? You have to rip it open from the top down and if I understand button physics correctly (which I may or may not), it looks like these buttons will only work properly if you do this from the bottom up. Needless to say, don't fund this campaign. It seems most people agree with me. It's only raised around $2,000 total of its ~$40,000 goal. Let's keep it that way.