Image via Complex Original
1.
Spalwarts are like the New Balance of Europe: super geriatric, but they're also in the upper echelon of Narc Dad™ swag. If you wear Spalwarts, you definitely have the NYPD tip hotline programmed in your phone. Hell, you probably have a wire taped to your chest at all times. Just like when Jellyfish rolled through the trap last week, but didn't have no money, you just waited for him to say the word and "abracadabra," the po po were at yo' do'. These black Spalwart Marathon Trails give you some street cred though, since they're in a full-on neutral colorway. Other narcs in your circle will be jealous of your edgy, hip footwear and ditch their NB 574s in favor of a pair. If this is your introduction to the style, there are a couple other colorways you have to go through before you're inducted into the upper ranks of Narc Academy. But that's what we're all about, influencing the Narc Dads™ of tomorrow so when they grow up they can achieve their dreams of busting a huge drug ring that sprung up right in their backyard.