10 Things to Wear to Get Laid on Valentine's Day

Gear to help seal the deal.

Feb 13, 2013
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Image via Complex Original

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

Valentine's Day is known primarily as the holiday where guys have to wine and dine their significant other (and their side-piece too), which means that for all of your spending, you should be getting some action in the bedroom. But there are, of course, no guarantees. If it's not looking like a sure thing, we've rounded up 10 Things To Wear To Get Laid On Valentine's Day, because unless you're in Vegas, it's not legal to pay for it. 

RELATED: 100 Slow Jams That Will Get You Laid

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Tuxedo

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Girls love a well dressed man, and zoo animals, so look like the best dressed Penguin you can be and rock a tux. At the very least you'll be able to feed her like a mamma bird feed her chicks. 

Buy It Now at Jos A. Bank, $475

Hard Hat

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Fulfill her construction worker fantasy, or protect your head if she's a wild filly in the boudoir.

Buy It Now at Home Depot, $11

Slippers

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If it works for Hugh Hefner, and if it landed Scott Disick a Kardashian, then surely wearing slippers will work for you. It's the shoe that says, "Hey, I'm just chillin' in my luxury fashions and big ol' mansion." It's the fastest way to become a pimp of your own domain. 

Buy It Now at Del Toro, $295

Cigar

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Look like an extra in a Carey Grant movie, and light a cigar for no good reason. Make sure you have on the robe and slippers we mentioned earlier, and you're good to go. Just don't inhale or you'll be coughing to the point of embarassment and loneliness.

Buy It Now at JR Cigars, $12-15

Timberlands

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How else are you supposed to knock boots?

Buy It Now at TImberland, $129

Condoms

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Jimmyhats—the most important hat you can wear on Valentine's Day. Show her how much you care, and how you don't want to bring anything back to your girlfriend at home.

Buy It Now at Soap.com, starting at $7 

Ryan Gosling Mask

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Directions: Print this out. Put this On. Thank us later.

Print This For Free at Buzzfeed.com

Valentines Day Colored Drawers

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If you wear your normal, tattered tighty whiteys to the bed on Valentines night, expect some quality time with Rosie Palm instead of your girl. Switch it up a bit with these black boxer briefs and make her think she's undressing a stranger (which is really what she wants to do anyway).

Buy It Now at Calvin Klein Underwear, $24

Versace Thermals

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You scared of some man-gerie? Maybe you can strip for your lady like it's amateur night at Chippendales, or maybe not. These floral Versace leggings are probably what 2 Chainz wears to woo his harem, and these will put you one step closer to being a hair-weave killa...tru! 

Buy It Now at Versace, $288

Silk Robe

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Girls love silk, so why not drape yourself in as much silk as humanly possible with this robe by Derek Rose. It'll put her in the mood to get handsy all over you.

Buy It Now at Mr. Porter, $1,080. 

Valentine's DayStyle Buyers Guide

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