Image via Complex Original
I don’t regularly peruse the well-respected feminist annals of Jezebel, but that’s because I don’t really peruse anything. I just get sent random ass articles and then, based on reading, like, seven lines make snap judgments before randomly capitalizing shit. Now that you have an insider's look into my creative process, let me tell you about this dumb article.
Jezebel is all surprised and incredulous that there are expensive pre-distressed shoes for sale upwards of $1,500. AYO JEZEBEL, THIS IS FUCKING FASHION WE’RE TALKING ABOUT. THERE ARE 600 DOLLAR VERSIONS OF GARBAGE BAGS. HOW ARE YOU SURPRISED BY ANYTHING IN 2014? PEOPLE HAVE WORN MEAT DRESSES AND YOU GUYS ARE LIKE, "REALLY? A 560 DOLLAR DISTRESSED PAIR OF CONS?!” I mean, I would pay a lot of money for the 'gielas (that's what I'm calling 'em this year FYI) that look like Jackson Pollock jizzed all over 'em and I bet everyone reading this feels the same type of way.
Clearly, you lovely ladies have never heard of visvim or Kapital or 45 RPM or RRL or a million other incredible brands that literally only sell all pre-distressed everything. And, like, I get it. We’re supposed to be better than that and rich people buying poor people looking things is supposed to be kind of offensive or something. RICH PEOPLE HAVE BEEN OFFENDING US WITH JUST THEIR SHEER EXISTENCE SINCE RICH PEOPLE HAVE EXISTED. That’s why we riot, not rally, and, why one day, the proletariat will rise up and take what’s rightfully theirs. Okay, no really, because motherfuckers stay up in bondage, but you get my point. Justin Bieber retiring at 19 is obnoxious, but $700 sneakers? That’s just economics.
