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He's supposedly the new golden boy of the U.S. Olympic swim team, having been flanked non-stop by the media, but he's actually not quite new. This is Ryan Lochte's third Olympic games, but the world has only just begun to see past his swimming abilities for the douchebag that he really is. Smoke and mirrors, bro. Or smoke and grillz? I don't know. We won't deny he's (sorta) great at swimming, but he's pretty shitty when it comes to other life choices. Like, ya know, all of these. Even his mother admits he likes going out on one-night stands. Real classy! But the most egregious douche move has got to be Lochte donning that stupid ass grill every chance he gets. It's nice that Paul Wall was enthused about doing a piece for him, but even Paul Wall looked halfway like a bum wearing one. I'm just going to say it—white people should never ever rock a grill. The shit looks like a fucking vanity plate for your mouth. End of story.
And Philip Crangi, you're cool and all, but don't you dare test our authoritative gangster. You can't be going around talking mad reckless to the press saying things like, "I am kind of into the grill. It’s like a tiara for men." C'mon, man. It's objectively not a good look for most guys. They're already confused enough when it comes to simple style choices, they don't need to now add "which grill will go with this tie?" to their morning repertoire. So dudes, take notice. Unless you really want to look like a Disney Princess listening to her first DJ Screw mix, leave the mouth hardware to the professionals.