I know it’s starting to actually get cold and a coaches jacket isn’t exactly the warmest jacket on the market. But you know what? The key to being a good coach is never getting cold. Coaches never wear overly elaborate or insulated jackets. They just wear their regular coaching gear and stand on the sideline even more stoically than normal. There are other colorways of this Stussy coaches jacket, but the red one is the best. I could coach so fucking awesomely if I had a red coaches jacket. Especially one with the Chanel logo flip on the back. All the parents paying for their kids to learn a sport will look at my jacket and be like, “I don’t get it. That looks like two S’s—what does that have to do with the team? The kids named the team Tyrannosaurus Charizard.” And I’d have to be like, “LISTEN SHARON, YOU DON’T NEED TO UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING THAT’S GOING ON WITH THIS YOUTH SOCCER TEAM. ALL YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON IS BRINGING WATERMELON SLICES FOR THE HALFTIME SNACK. MY PLAYERS DON’T EAT ORANGE SLICES LIKE COMMONERS.”