Humpty Dumpty Cosplaying As Kanye West

Of course they're weird.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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I’m not sure if you guys are going to think these Chelsea sneakers are cool or not but I’m really at the point where I just don’t really care anymore. I think these are pretty dope and I’m not trying to wear Chelsea boots. This is not because I think so highly of myself that I consider my personal brand to be above a trend, it's more about logistics. Most Chelsea boots have fairly narrow silhouettes and I have a get-money gut. Narrow shoes with tapered pants makes dudes who have get-money guts look top heavy. I am not trying to look like Humpty Dumpty cosplaying as Kanye West. It just isn't happening. But I would wear these sneakers. They’re like orthopedic Chelsea boots. Orthopedic shoes and I get along really well since I have a bad back. Have I made you feel bad enough for my overall decaying existence yet? Do you need more reminders that I am over the age of 30? 

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