As part of their always hilariously enlightening "Why Does It Cost So Much?" series, The Wall Street Journal was nice enough to take us on a trip inside visvim's $8,000 umbrella, a ridiculous flex if there ever was one that we peeped in person a little while back at one of their NYFW presentations.
Eight thousand dollars may seem like a lot for an umbrella even if it's made from fish oil tanned goat leather, brass tipped rattan and skein-dyed cotton. And, sure, for 8 racks maybe you'd think that the material would be some state of the art fiber spun from algae that break down consumer waste or whatever, but if you think too hard about what would justify spending eight thousand dollars on an umbrella, you clearly don't have eight thousand dollars to spend on an umbrella.
As far as I can tell, when you buy a visvim umbrella, you're wealthy enough to not worry about getting it rained on. After you buy this umbrella you probably go on an amazing trip to a secluded beach and no one will ever know because you're so goddamn rich you don't even have Instagram because you're actually fulfilled by the activities you partake in and don't need to supplement strug getaways with hella misleading social media posts. Instead of the slow realization that you have to leave whatever amazing vacation you're on, you can just be like, "Fuck it. Let's extend this trip a few days." In fact, you're so cool and wealthy you'll probably forget your new vis umbrella on the dunes and not even trip.
Listen, I love visvim because visvim is wholly aspirational. I cannot fucking wait to be at a point in my life where I can absentmindedly buy an $8,000 umbrella because I'm, like, having my parents over for a small cookout or whatever.
